**There are severe social consequences to housing shortages in cities and only the government can solve these problems.** **To what extent do you agree or disagree?**
Many believe that solely the
government
is able to find solutions to the social consequences that are caused by the housing shortage in urban areas. This
essay agrees with this
statement because inadequate housing leads to a rise in homelessness and threatens the health
of the population.
Overcrowded and inadequate living conditions can lead to various health
risks. Running water and a warm place to sleep are fundamental needs that every individual requires to stay healthy. If too many people live together under one roof without being able to ensure a basic level of hygene
, bacterial or viral infection might spread easily. Correct your spelling
hygiene
This
inevidably
Correct your spelling
inevitably
lead
to more people getting hospitalized and long-term Change the verb form
leads
health
issues. Consequently
, the head of state should introduce public health
initiatives and housing regulations to ensure safer living conditions.
Furthermore
, without providing affordable housing opportunities, the amount of people becoming homeless will substaintally
rise. Particularly families with a lower income simply can not afford their rent anymore, Correct your spelling
substantially
therefore
, forcing them to live in the streets or under bridges. Government
programs that aim to solve this
problem can include funding for temporary shelters or long-term solutions. The city of Frankfurt in Germany is a prime example where the government
is fighting homelessness by providing a free and warm place to sleep. This
is possible through fundings
pumped into Fix the agreement mistake
funding
charitiy
organisations, dedicated to Correct your spelling
charity
charities
help
those without a home.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the Change the verb form
helping
government
is responsible for providing adequate housing in cities for everybody,
if they want to prevent increasing homelessness among their citizens or the spread of dangerous diseases.Remove the comma
apply
Submitted by philipp_becker on
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coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, consider making your thesis statement in the introduction a bit more concise and direct.
task achievement
Ensure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors, such as 'inevidably' (inevitably) and 'hygene' (hygiene). This will improve the overall readability.
coherence cohesion
Although the examples provided are relevant, try to integrate them more smoothly into the argument. Ensure they directly support the main points being made.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively by highlighting the two main social consequences of housing shortages: health risks and homelessness.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both strong, clearly stating your position and summarizing your main points succinctly.
coherence cohesion
The organization of your essay is logical, with each body paragraph covering a specific aspect of the problem and its resolution.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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