Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?
Now a days
it has been a commonly discussed topic that children are facing high pressure academically, socially and commercially. My essay will discuss the problems behind Correct the word
Nowadays
this
issue and solutions that can be taken to solve this
problem.
The root cause of this
is parents want their offsprings
to be Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
best
in every aspect. Correct article usage
the best
Firstly
, from grade one they enter kids to
high competition with high Change preposition
into
expections
which leads some students Correct your spelling
expectations
end up getting
Verb problem
to commit
suicides
and other mental problems. Fix the agreement mistake
suicide
For example
, In 2019, 29% of undergraduates were
ended up Unnecessary verb
apply
getting
Verb problem
committing
suicides
because of exam fear and scared Fix the agreement mistake
suicide
for
results. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, stress from peer groups also
Add a missing verb
is also
reason
for Add an article
the reason
a reason
this
problem whereas
using commercial ads entrepreneurs attaract
children Correct your spelling
attract
for
games and Change preposition
with
smart phones
. Without having those items Correct your spelling
smartphones
get
individuals bully and make the situation worsen.
Verb problem
apply
However
, these issues can be solve
by taking Change the verb form
be solved
following
solutions Correct article usage
the following
such
as, adults should prioratize
Correct your spelling
prioritize
prioritise
physical
and mental Correct article usage
the physical
wellbeing
of adolescents and maintain healthy competition. Youngsters who suffer from depression and stress need to treat with Correct your spelling
well-being
psycotherapy
. Correct your spelling
psychotherapy
For instance
, According to
research in India, 69% of people who are under pressure have no longer suffered from it after joining mental classes. Additionally
, business people should not mainly target young
generation when doing their businesses.
In conclusion, people should Correct article usage
the young
aware
the pressure starts from the development of the community and parent's expectations. Add a missing verb
be aware
Hence
it can solved by realizing their own abilities and using mental therapy. Apart from that having good friends and proper advertisements can use
to tackle Wrong verb form
be used
this
problem successfully.Submitted by pererahimasha10 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
language
Ensure clarity and accuracy in language. Phrases like 'for example' and 'for instance' should be correctly punctuated and used.
structure
Better organize the essay by clearly separating the causes and solutions into distinct paragraphs. This will improve coherence.
content
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will enhance the credibility of your arguments.
content
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both causes and solutions, which shows a clear response to the task.
structure
The introductory and concluding paragraphs are present and relevant to the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!