Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?

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Now a days
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Nowadays
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it has been a commonly discussed topic that children are facing high pressure academically, socially and commercially. My essay will discuss the problems behind
this
issue and solutions that can be taken to solve
this
problem. The root cause of
this
is parents want their
offsprings
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offspring
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to be
best
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the best
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in every aspect.
Firstly
, from grade one they enter kids
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
high competition with high
expections
Correct your spelling
expectations
which leads some students
end up getting
Verb problem
to commit
show examples
suicides
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suicide
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and other mental problems.
For example
, In 2019, 29% of undergraduates
were
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apply
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ended up
getting
Verb problem
committing
show examples
suicides
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suicide
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because of exam fear and scared
for
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of
show examples
results.
Moreover
, stress from peer groups
also
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is also
show examples
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
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for
this
problem
whereas
using commercial ads entrepreneurs
attaract
Correct your spelling
attract
children
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
games and
smart phones
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smartphones
show examples
. Without having those items
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
individuals bully and make the situation worsen.
However
, these issues can
be solve
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be solved
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by taking
following
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the following
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solutions
such
as, adults should
prioratize
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prioritize
prioritise
physical
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the physical
show examples
and mental
wellbeing
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well-being
show examples
of adolescents and maintain healthy competition. Youngsters who suffer from depression and stress need to treat with
psycotherapy
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psychotherapy
.
For instance
,
According to
research in India, 69% of people who are under pressure have no longer suffered from it after joining mental classes.
Additionally
, business people should not mainly target
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation when doing their businesses. In conclusion, people should
aware
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be aware
show examples
the pressure starts from the development of the community and parent's expectations.
Hence
it can solved by realizing their own abilities and using mental therapy. Apart from that having good friends and proper advertisements can
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
to tackle
this
problem successfully.
Submitted by pererahimasha10 on

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language
Ensure clarity and accuracy in language. Phrases like 'for example' and 'for instance' should be correctly punctuated and used.
structure
Better organize the essay by clearly separating the causes and solutions into distinct paragraphs. This will improve coherence.
content
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will enhance the credibility of your arguments.
content
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both causes and solutions, which shows a clear response to the task.
structure
The introductory and concluding paragraphs are present and relevant to the topic.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic competition
  • peer pressure
  • social media influence
  • advertising targeting
  • balanced lifestyle
  • extracurricular activities
  • mental well-being
  • academic expectations
  • unrealistic standards
  • college applications
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