Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?

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Now a days

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Nowadays

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it has been a commonly discussed topic that children are facing high pressure academically, socially and commercially. My essay will discuss the problems behind

this

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issue and solutions that can be taken to solve

this

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problem. The root cause of

this

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is parents want their

offsprings

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offspring

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to be

best

Correct article usage

the best

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in every aspect.

Firstly

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, from grade one they enter kids

Change preposition

into

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high competition with high

expections

Correct your spelling

expectations

which leads some students

end up getting

Verb problem

to commit

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suicides

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suicide

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and other mental problems.

For example

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, In 2019, 29% of undergraduates

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

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ended up

getting

Verb problem

committing

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suicides

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suicide

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because of exam fear and scared

for

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show examples

results.

Moreover

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, stress from peer groups

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also

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is also

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reason

Add an article

the reason

a reason

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for

this

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problem

whereas

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using commercial ads entrepreneurs

attaract

Correct your spelling

attract

children

for

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with

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games and

smart phones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

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. Without having those items

get

Verb problem

apply

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individuals bully and make the situation worsen.

However

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, these issues can

be solve

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be solved

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by taking

following

Correct article usage

the following

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solutions

such

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as, adults should

prioratize

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prioritize

prioritise

physical

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the physical

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and mental

wellbeing

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well-being

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of adolescents and maintain healthy competition. Youngsters who suffer from depression and stress need to treat with

psycotherapy

Correct your spelling

psychotherapy

For instance

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According to

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research in India, 69% of people who are under pressure have no longer suffered from it after joining mental classes.

Additionally

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, business people should not mainly target

young

Correct article usage

the young

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generation when doing their businesses. In conclusion, people should

aware

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be aware

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the pressure starts from the development of the community and parent's expectations.

Hence

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it can solved by realizing their own abilities and using mental therapy. Apart from that having good friends and proper advertisements can

use

Wrong verb form

be used

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to tackle

this

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problem successfully.

pererahimasha10Mon Aug 05 2024

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language

Ensure clarity and accuracy in language. Phrases like 'for example' and 'for instance' should be correctly punctuated and used.

structure

Better organize the essay by clearly separating the causes and solutions into distinct paragraphs. This will improve coherence.

content

Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will enhance the credibility of your arguments.

content

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both causes and solutions, which shows a clear response to the task.

structure

The introductory and concluding paragraphs are present and relevant to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic competition
peer pressure
social media influence
advertising targeting
balanced lifestyle
extracurricular activities
mental well-being
academic expectations
unrealistic standards
college applications

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Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?

Your opinion

Some people think climate change negatively impacts business, while others think it provides more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The plans below show public park when it first open in 1920 and the same park today

Youth crime is increasing rapidly in many countries. Why it is increasing? and what solution can be taken to resolve the problem.