some people think that people should not take risk while others keep with an opposite sides. Discuss both views and give your oppinion
It is true that taking
risks
is crucial in people's own and professional lives. While
there are some drawbacks of taking risks
, I believe that without risks
people will not achieve higher rewards or success.
On the one hand, there are some obvious disadvantages of taking risks
. Firstly
, in case of failure, they might lose confidence and will be frightened taking
even small Change preposition
of taking
risks
. It means that they will not be able to make accurate decisions in their own lives. Secondly
, if the person is
just only got married Verb problem
has
as well as
risks
with
a lot of money in his or her Change preposition
apply
proffesional
life and loses it, it might lead to the separation of young couples. Correct your spelling
professional
Finally
, you might get stress and health problems by risking. For example
, lets
imagine that you lost a huge amount of money, what would happen Replace the word
let's
let us
than
? The Replace the word
then
amswer
is obvious, you would get nervous or just damage your mentality by concerning about it.
Correct your spelling
answer
However
, I truely
believe that Correct your spelling
truly
advantages
outweigh Correct article usage
the advantages
disadvantages
. As we all know Correct article usage
the disadvantages
that
almost every business requires some Correct word choice
apply
risks
, which means you cannot attain huge achievements without risking
. Take the founder of Alibaba as an illustration, he first risked with 100, 000 dollars and failed , but he did not give up and made another effort and invested Replace the word
risk
1million
dollars, which was his first success and the reason of ehy the Alibaba company is now well-known. Correct your spelling
1 million
Furthermore
, in terms of personal life, people do some sports that are quite risky such
as sky-diving due to
the fact that they get unattainable experiences and feelings from it. Additionally
, if your risk is successful, you will obtain confidence as well as
you will then
be able to make true decisions.
In conclusion, while
there are some disadvantages of risking
, Replace the word
risk
but
they are temporary and outweighed by benefits.Correct word choice
apply
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The introduction presents the topic and states a clear position. However, there are some minor grammatical issues that should be addressed for better clarity.
task achievement
Both views are discussed, but there could be more balance. The essay leans more towards the benefits of taking risks. Try to dedicate equal attention to both viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a logical structure, but there are occasional jumps in thought. Ensure smooth transitional sentences to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be more elaborate. Summarize the main points in a more comprehensive manner to reinforce your position.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to illustrate points. For instance, you could mention famous risk-takers or landmark achievements due to taking risks.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt by discussing both views and providing your opinion.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples that illustrate the points being made, which strengthens the argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a sense of completeness to the essay.