IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some coutries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people , why might this be the case Do you think it is positive or negative ?

#coutries #home #people #be #case
The diagram gives information about how
yogurt
Change the spelling
yoghurt
show examples
 is made.
Overall
, the process involves eight steps, starting with heating up the
milk
 and ending with refrigerating the yoghurt.
To begin
, it can be seen that the
milk
 is heated up to around 100 degrees Celsius on the stove before taking it off the heat and putting it aside in
oder
Correct your spelling
order
 to allow the product to cool down to a moderate temperature.
Then
, a small amount of cold
milk
 is mixed with some premade old
yogurt
Change the spelling
yoghurt
show examples
 and
subsequently
 whisked until it reaches a smooth consistency without any lumps. After that, the liquid
yogurt
 mixture is poured and combined in a pot with the
luke warm
Correct your spelling
lukewarm
show examples
milk
 that was prepared earlier. In the next step, the
yogurt
Change the spelling
yoghurt
show examples
 is wrapped into towels to maintain the slightly heated temperature before allowing it to
set
Add a missing verb
be set
show examples
 for four hours.
Lastly
, the final product is stored in the
refrigerater
Correct your spelling
refrigerator
 to keep it cool and long-lasting.
Submitted by philipp_becker on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Try to use more precise and varied vocabulary to describe the process steps to enhance clarity and engagement.
coherence
Ensure that each step description explicitly connects to the next to improve the logical flow.
accuracy
Be careful in the use of technical terms like 'lukewarm' or 'whisked' to avoid minor inaccuracies that might confuse the reader.
task achievement
The essay clearly outlines all the steps in the yogurt-making process, demonstrating good task achievement.
structure
The introduction and conclusion provide a clear overview and wrap up the process effectively.
cohesion
The paragraphs are well-organized, with each main step clearly delineated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: