IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

“By definition, charity is generosity in offering money, food, and help to the needy. To some people, such kindness should be boundless, others argue for a limit to it.” Which opinion do you support? In about 300 words, present your arguments.

#“by #definition #charity #generosity #money #food #people #kindness #limit #support #arguments
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he
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The
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bar chart gives information about how many
school
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trips
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 to and from
school
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 students make
according to
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 five methods of transport (car passenger, walking, cycling, walking and
bus
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,
bus
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) in a nation between 1990 and 2010. Units are measured in millions.
Overall
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,
while
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 walking was by far the most popular way of transport in 1990 it can be seen that there is a noticeable trend towards getting to
school
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 by car. With regard to walking, students used
this
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 as their preferred method with over 12
million
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trips
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 per year in 1990. Within the shown period of 20 years,
this
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 figure drops to 6
million
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trips
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.
In contrast
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, travelling by car as a passenger increased from just over 4
million
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 to approximately 11
million
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 in the same timeframe, making it the most popular way of transport in 2010. Looking specifically at the other three categories, students took on average 6
million
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trips
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 each to and from
school
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 in 1990. By 2010, these figures decreased. Particularly the
coice
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cost
 of using a bicycle dramatically lowered, dropping to 2
million
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trips
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 per year. Walking and
bus
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 rides
as well as
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 just taking the
bus
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 decreased by approximately one-half and one-
third,
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respectively.
Submitted by philipp_becker on

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structure
Introduce a brief conclusion to summarize the main findings. This will provide a clearer structure to your essay.
examples
Include more detailed comparisons or examples to illustrate the changes and trends observed in the data.
understanding
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the data, offering a thorough description of trends over time.
language
The use of comparative language is effective in highlighting the changes between 1990 and 2010.
organization
The essay is well-organized, with paragraphs that logically follow one another and discuss specific points clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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