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Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

You are planning to go on a business trip. Write an email to the Human Resources Department that includes the following information: Where are you going? What is the purpose of your trip? How long will you be staying? What is your itinerary (the places you will visit)? Who will you meet? Why are you going? Try to write a minimum of 50 words.

#business #trip #email #resources #department #information #purpose #itinerary #places #visit
Dear Ms. HR I'm planning to go on a business trip. My leader told me I
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 go onsite in Tokyo, Japan. I will work as
monitor
Add an article
a monitor
show examples
,
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tracking, finding
root
Add an article
the root
show examples
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 and supporting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the customers. I will stay for two weeks. I would like to visit some popular places in Japan like Fuji mountain,
temples
Correct word choice
and temples
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. I am very excited because
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will meet a lot of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. I will see my co-workers in the office every day and
sometime
Fix the agreement mistake
sometimes
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will go out to meet the customers. I would like to inform you about my trip
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 next
monday
Change the capitalization
Monday
show examples
 so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will not
at
Add a missing verb
be at
show examples
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
 during
this
 time. Best regards Quan Le
Submitted by ieltsmeister.academic on

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grammar
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and free from errors. For example, you should say "to monitor" instead of "as monitor."
content
Try to use more specific examples or further details to enhance clarity and engagement. For instance, specify which temples you plan to visit in Japan.
structure
Adding a brief closing statement to summarize your email can help in providing a clear conclusion to your message.
content
You have covered all required information as instructed.
structure
The email structure includes greetings and a sign-off, which adds to the formal nature required in a business email.
tone
You mention excitement about meeting people and the places you plan to visit, which adds a personal touch.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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