IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include • where you stayed • what the problems were • how they can fix it complaints

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I'm writing to express my dissatisfaction with my
resent
Correct your spelling
recent
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 stay at your hotel during a conference with my company. I stayed 46 from 6 Mart to 10 Mart and encountered several problems that greatly affected my experience.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
open
Correct your spelling
upon
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 entering the room, I immediately notices a foul odor emanating from the bathroom.
The
Correct your spelling
They
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 persisted throughout my entire stay, making it difficult to feel comfortable in my room.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the air conditioning unit was
loudly
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loud
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 and seemed to be malfunctioning, as it didn't cool the room adequately despite being set to the lowest temperature. I trust that you will take my feedback into consideration and
mak
Correct your spelling
make
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 the necessary improvements to avoid similar issues in the future. Thank you for
attention
Correct pronoun usage
your attention
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 to
this
Linking Words
 matter and I look forward to a more positive experience during my text visit
at
Change preposition
to
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 your hotel. Sincerely, Shabnam

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Task Achievement
In the task response area, make sure to mention specific information such as the name of the hotel and your room number. This adds detail to your complaint and gives the management a clearer context.
Coherence and Cohesion
There are some typographical errors such as 'resent' instead of 'recent', 'Mart' instead of 'March', 'open' instead of 'upon', 'notices' instead of 'noticed', 'loudly' instead of 'loud', and 'mak' instead of 'make'. Correcting these would improve coherence and reduce distractions for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although your letter is logically structured, ensure that each paragraph addresses a single idea thoroughly, such as the problems with the room and the suggested solutions. This will enhance clarity.
Suitable Writing Tone
The tone of the letter is suitably formal and polite, which is appropriate for a complaint letter.
Greeting and Closing
The letter includes a greeting and closing, which demonstrates an understanding of the formal letter structure.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with...
  • ...which I encountered during my recent stay at...
  • The first issue was...
  • Additionally, I found that...
  • Moreover, the... was not up to standard.
  • I suggest that...
  • This experience has left me...
  • I hope you will address these concerns promptly by...
  • To improve your service, you could...
  • As a form of compensation, I would appreciate...
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