IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that genetically modified crops are a positive development. Others, however, argue that they are potentially dangerous. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Genetically modified crops have been the centre of global debate over
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that genetic engineering of
food
Use synonyms
 brings certain advantages, others think that it might have
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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 health
effects
Use synonyms
. I am personally inclined on
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will deal with arguments for and against
this
Linking Words
 controversial issue. Genetic engineering has changed the face of
Use synonyms
food
Add an article
the food
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 market.
People
Use synonyms
 in favour of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
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 that
food
Use synonyms
 production can massively be increased by making crops more
resistent
Correct your spelling
resistant
 to pests.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
food
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 can be made more viable and full of nutrients with
this
Linking Words
 process. The
allergy causing
Add a hyphen
allergy-causing
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 gene can be removed from
food
Use synonyms
 with
this
Linking Words
 method making it
more easy
Replace the words
easier
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 for
people
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 to consume,
for example
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
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peanuts. The shelf life of fruits and vegetables can
also
Linking Words
 be increased if the gene that ripens them is modified.
This
Linking Words
is prevent
Change the verb form
prevents
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 wastage of
food
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 to a certain level.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who are opposed
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the widespread use of GM
technique
Fix the agreement mistake
techniques
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 worry that there could be
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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 negative
effects
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. They are concerned that so far GM industry has not been able to prove that they are safe. The issue is not only how safe the foods are for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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, but
also
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 its long-lasting
effects
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 on nature and wildlife
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are some studies that suggest that genetic modification
Use synonyms
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nearby plants. In conclusion, I personally believe that
while
Linking Words
 there are benefits of GM crops, they present more potential dangers. Their impact could be so large and irreversible that long-term studies should be carried out before they are used any
further
Linking Words
.

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general
To achieve a higher score, improve the variety and accuracy of your vocabulary and sentence structures. Consider using more advanced connectives and attempting to vary the sentence length and structure.
task response
Although your introduction sets the scene well, the thesis statement could be clearer. E.g., instead of saying 'I am personally inclined on latter,' consider saying something more precise like, 'I personally believe that the long-term risks of genetically modified crops outweigh their benefits.' This will set a clearer expectation for the reader.
task response
Your essay could benefit from more specific evidence or examples to support your points. Consider including statistics, specific studies, or examples from real-life scenarios to make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, using more signposting language can enhance coherence. For example, use phrases like 'on the one hand,' 'on the other hand,' 'furthermore,' and 'moreover' to guide readers through your argument more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted and present a clear position on the topic.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is well-done; you have discussed both views clearly and provided your own opinion, aligning with the topic's requirements.
supported main points
Your main points are relevant and well-supported, although they could be strengthened further with more specific examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • genetically modified crops
  • positive development
  • potentially dangerous
  • increased food production
  • improved nutrition
  • reduction in the use of
  • pesticides
  • herbicides
  • enhanced crop resistance
  • pests
  • diseases
  • drought-resistant crops
  • potential environmental harm
  • unknown long-term effects
  • human health
  • cross-contamination
  • non-GMO crops
  • balanced approach
  • careful monitoring
  • regulation
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