IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature) and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this trend need to be changed?

#schools #universities #girls #arts #subjects #e #g #literature #boys #science #physics #trend
In today’s society, the majority think
girls
 are more likely to choose arts
subjects
such
 as literature
while
 boys tend to choose
science
subjects
 like physics in schools and universities. In
this
 essay, I will identify the reasons for the case and whether I think
this
 trend should be altered.
Firstly
,
girls
 tend to make choices of choosing art
subjects
 because they think that they are more capable
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 completing
essay based
Add a hyphen
essay-based
show examples
 questions in
subjects
 like literature.
For example
, females are more into the act of reading and exploring writing techniques which are essential elements in the field of literature. If they think they are a better writer than a problem solver which is vital in the field of
science
.
This
 will result in a greater proportion of
girls
 choosing art
subjects
.
However
, I think
this
 trend should be changed because they should be encouraged to study
science
subjects
 so they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 learn about new things
instead
 of focusing on what they are good at.
Secondly
, boys may decide to select
science
subjects
 as they would like to challenge themselves in understanding the intricacies of sciences.
For example
,
subjects
 like physics and maths can be really hard as the course proceeds which requires a lot of critical thinking and problem-solving techniques. Males are more willing to take on these challenges and study the complexity of
sciences
Correct article usage
the sciences
show examples
.
Nevertheless
,
this
 trend should not be continued as they should be
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 their essay writing techniques because they are fundamental skills used in universities or in the future. In conclusion, I think
due to
 their confidence level, the difference in sex may result in different references. But, I personally believe that
this
 type of pattern should be modified because both boys and
girls
 should be incentivised to participate in different
subjects
 as they will never know the interesting aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each
subjects
Change to a singular noun
subject
show examples
 until they try it themselves.
Submitted by cherrychan926 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Style
Avoid using informal phrases such as 'females are more into' and 'males are more willing'. Academic writing requires a formal tone.
Content
Develop the main points further. For instance, instead of saying 'If they think they are better writers than problem solvers,' provide evidence or a study to support this claim.
Examples
Make sure each point is fully supported by relevant specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate critical thinking.
Introduction
The introduction clearly states the topic and presents what the essay will discuss.
Task Response
The essay provides a complete response by addressing both the reasons for subject preferences and the need for change.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and echoes the opinion stated in the introduction.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: