IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts
provides
Change the verb form
provide
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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detailed information about used technological items in order to have
an
Remove the article
apply
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access to
watch
Verb problem
apply
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TV
Use synonyms
 by the youth of ages between 18 and 25 in Canada with the difference of a decade.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can observe that people began to give more preference for watching necessary programmes via modern technologies namely mobile phones and tablets.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the usage of conventional
TV
Use synonyms
 declined through the period of
given
Correct article usage
a given
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 time. In 2009, the highest percentage of seeing programmes belonged to conventional
TV
Use synonyms
, taking the part of
chart
Add an article
the chart
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 for above a third.
Following
Wrong verb form
Followed
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 by desktop
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 and laptops, with figures for 18% and 20%. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
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this
Linking Words
 could be becoming an old-fashioned and inconvenient way to watch with the help of techs. On closer examination for 2019, laptops and desktop computers exhibited a
noticably
Correct your spelling
noticeably
noticeable
 decrease, reaching 12% each.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the tiniest portion was in conventional
TV
Use synonyms
, with a
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic
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 drop.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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