The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts
provides
Change the verb form
provide

The singular verb provides does not appear to agree with the plural subject charts. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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detailed information about used technological items in order to have
an
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun access in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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access to
watch
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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TV
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by the youth of ages between 18 and 25 in Canada with the difference of a decade.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we can observe that people began to give more preference for watching necessary programmes via modern technologies namely mobile phones and tablets.
Conversely
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the usage of conventional
TV
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

declined through the period of
given
Correct article usage
a given

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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time. In 2009, the highest percentage of seeing programmes belonged to conventional
TV
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, taking the part of
chart
Add an article
the chart

The noun phrase chart seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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for above a third.
Following
Wrong verb form
Followed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb Following. Consider changing it.

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by desktop
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers

It seems that computer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and laptops, with figures for 18% and 20%. The reason
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

could be becoming an old-fashioned and inconvenient way to watch with the help of techs. On closer examination for 2019, laptops and desktop computers exhibited a
noticably
Correct your spelling
noticeably
noticeable

If you don’t want noticably to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

decrease, reaching 12% each.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the tiniest portion was in conventional
TV
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, with a
dramatical
Replace the word
dramatic

The word dramatical doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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drop.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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