Some people feel that learning a foreign language is an essential component of a child’s education. Others feel that learning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning about technology and other more vocational subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Learning a foreign
language
seems an initiative priorty
for young Correct your spelling
priority
children
educational journey Change noun form
children's
while
others belive
that it is Correct your spelling
believe
waste
of Correct article usage
a waste
children
time and they need to be exposed to technology and Change noun form
children's
vacational
subjects are more important. In my point of view, Correct your spelling
vocational
language
ability place
an extremely important role which can be usedVerb problem
plays
a
tool to enhance later in their Change preposition
as a
career
.
With the
Change preposition
The
emgering
of Correct your spelling
emerging
merging
internet
and learning Correct article usage
the internet
new
Add an article
a new
language
in
Change preposition
at
the
young age allows them to get a job worldwide. Correct article usage
a
Also
, there are some
many multinational companies Correct quantifier usage
apply
need
staff Correct pronoun usage
that need
Correct pronoun usage
who known
known
foreign languages as much as Wrong verb form
know
posible
to enhance. Correct your spelling
possible
For example
, logistics companies accquire
staff Correct your spelling
require
need
to know Verb problem
apply
local
Add an article
the local
language
to work Change preposition
with locatl
locatl
authorities Correct your spelling
local
for
import and export Change preposition
to
cargos
legally. Regarding Fix the agreement mistake
cargo
to
learning Remove the preposition
apply
language
is the root for
Change preposition
of
career
development.
Technical and vocational subjects is
Change the verb form
are
also
important for career
; Add an article
a career
however
, children
are too young and soon to learning
and get a deep Wrong verb form
learn
undertanding
. Correct your spelling
understanding
For example
, children
who are under 18 years old, this
age should learn basic social knowledge from schools provided and it helps them to get fundermental
skills to develop in Correct your spelling
fundamental
Correct article usage
the univerity
univerity
period. Correct your spelling
university
Additionally
, vocational skillsets are learned in university education and participate extra
classes to enhance Change preposition
in extra
ablitity
. Correct your spelling
ability
For instance
, an
university gives extra Change the article
a
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
such
as software coding cours
, Correct your spelling
courses
course
computer
courses for students who are interested in Correct word choice
and computer
these skill
.
In Change the determiner
this skill
these skills
conclusionLearning
a foreign Correct your spelling
conclusion
language
is a base to jump and expand career
path worldwide, while
the vocation skillsets can learn
later in the university time to get direct matching with Wrong verb form
be learned
aspiring
Add an article
an aspiring
career
path.Submitted by elizaluu94 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views on the topic, which is commendable. However, some points lack development and specificity. Try to elaborate more on why learning a foreign language can be beneficial and provide more concrete examples.
coherence cohesion
While your main ideas are clear, the logical flow of your argument could be improved. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that sentences within the paragraphs logically follow from one another. Use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be stronger. The introduction should clearly introduce the topic and outline what the essay will cover. The conclusion should summarize the key points discussed and clearly state your opinion.
task achievement
Support your main points with more relevant specific examples. For instance, you mentioned logistics companies; provide a real-world example or case study to strengthen your argument.
general advice
Check for grammatical errors and improve sentence structures. For example, your essay would benefit from more complex and varied sentence structures. Avoid minor spelling mistakes to make your writing clearer and more professional.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
You make an effort to support your main points with examples, which is a good practice.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.