In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, many workers have chosen to move to different cities or even countries in search of better job opportunities.

Although

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such

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relocation can cause emotional challenges, I believe that the advantages far outweigh the losses.

Firstly

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, people can find better career and financial opportunities. In small towns or rural areas, jobs are often limited, and relocation allows access to stable employment and higher wages that match one’s qualifications.

For example

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, many workers from Bangladesh travel to larger cities in Korea, where there is a high demand for labour.

This

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not only improves their technical skills but

also

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enables them to support their families, enhances their adaptability, and encourages personal growth.

Moreover

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, living abroad often exposes individuals to new cultures, helping them develop a broader perspective and better communication skills that benefit their future careers.

However

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, leaving family and friends can cause serious emotional distress. People may feel depressed or homesick when separated from their loved ones.

For instance

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, migrant workers often miss important family events

such

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as graduations, birthdays, or weddings. These absences can weaken family bonds and harm relationships with close friends. Despite these challenges, modern technology has made it easier to stay connected with relatives. Video calls and instant messaging can maintain emotional closeness even over long distances, which helps reduce loneliness and preserve social ties. In conclusion,

while

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moving away may lead to temporary emotional hardship, the long-term benefits

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such

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, such

show examples

as financial stability, professional development, and cultural exposure

clearly

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, clearly

show examples

outweigh the drawbacks. With the help of modern communication tools, individuals can pursue their goals abroad

while

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remaining emotionally connected to their families and home countries.

acaitaz

Aug 26, 2024

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content

The answer has a clear view and is well planed. It would gain more score with a bit more fact and details to back up the main ideas.

structure

Use more connect words to show idea flow between and inside paragraphs.

content

Clear view that moving for work can bring good gain.

structure

Well made structure with an intro, body and conclusion.

language

Use of examples to show the point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

relocation
employment prospects
professional development
cultural exposure
isolation
familial relationships
cost of living
career progression
mental health
significant life events
higher salaries
support families
broaden horizons
living standards

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In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

How does Fitzpatrick demonstrate that a poem is a site of confrontations?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

Some people think studenti should study the science of food and how to prepare it.Others thinks students should spend time on important subjects .Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fine for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.