Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

According to
some people in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
digital
money
will gradually substitute physical currency.
While
this
form of
payment
has some benefits, there are several drawbacks. Both views will be discussed in
this
essay. Personally, I think that in everyday life, debit and credit cards are much more convenient than cash.
Firstly
, innovations in digital
payment
options offer various sorts of using
money
while
using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical cash is restricted.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
day-to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
operations in different services like
payment
utilities, babysitter fees, exam booking
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. are much more comfortable to do online than to visit special
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
and pay on the spot.
Secondly
, many banks support global services and any person can use their online financial resources in other countries.
This
option reduces the risk of carrying a huge sum of
money
and
search
Wrong verb form
searching
show examples
currency exchange
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
in cities.
That is
to
say
Add a comma
say,
show examples
these new forms of
payment
eliminated a lot of inconveniences in our lives.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
despite innovations in digital
payment
methods, it has some drawbacks and physical
money
plays a significant role as well. There is a hazard of stealing
money
from debit and credit cards and web applications hacking. To protect Users always should be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
reliable passwords and change them regularly.
To conclude
,
this
essay covered both
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
and cons of
replacement
Replace the word
replacing
show examples
physical
money
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
digital cash. Apart from comfort in
use
Add a comma
use,
show examples
this
service is quite fragile and unsecure.
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
from my perspective all shortcomings will be gradually fixed and only e-
money
will
be existed
Change to the active voice
exist
have existed
show examples
.
Submitted by aliyarova.n on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents clear and relevant main points. However, it could be improved by including more specific examples and elaboration on some points. This would strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, but the introduction could be better connected to the rest of the essay. Make sure each paragraph progresses logically from the previous one and that ideas are more cohesively connected.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally clear and well-organized, but it would benefit from a stronger conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points discussed. This will leave a lasting impression on the reader and reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally clear and well-organized, indicating a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of digital money, reflecting an ability to see multiple sides of an argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: