Some people decide to start their own business instead of working hours for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweight the disadvantages?
General
world said Correct article usage
The general
tha
, Correct your spelling
that
high risk
takers are able to survive Add a hyphen
high-risk
in
Change preposition
apply
global
Change the word
globally
than
others. Correct quantifier usage
more than
Enterperneurs
are willing to commence their own Correct your spelling
Entrepreneurs
company
Use synonyms
instead
of contributing their skills Linking Words
for
Change preposition
to
seperate
organization. Being an Correct your spelling
separate
enterperneur
has both pros and cons in current society. Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
This
essay will Linking Words
discussed
Change the verb form
be discussed
discuss
about
; how the merits will Remove the preposition
apply
surpassing
the demerits of that decision.
Wrong verb form
surpass
Moreover
, when Linking Words
consider
the general employee, he has to always Change the verb form
considering
done
their Change the verb
do
jobs
as per the management decisions or Fix the agreement mistake
job
guidlines
. Correct your spelling
guidelines
However
, innovators or Linking Words
business
holders Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
a
power Correct article usage
the
of taking
required actions based on their personal knowledge. Change preposition
to take
In addition
to that, workers Linking Words
were entitle
Change the verb form
were entitled
for
pre-determined or constant compensation for a Change preposition
to
perticular
time period. Correct your spelling
particular
Eventhough
, Correct your spelling
Even though
business
owners are able to gain unlimited profit based on the risk level and the Use synonyms
contributiom
towards the Correct your spelling
contribution
contributions
company
.
Use synonyms
Further
, businessmen have controlled Linking Words
thier
Correct your spelling
their
work life
and personal life Add a hyphen
work-life
balancing
Replace the word
balance
while
Linking Words
compairing
the common job holders. On one hand, Verb problem
compared to
company
holders sweat always relies on their own development. When their attention and contribution has got Use synonyms
raise
, their ultimate profits Wrong verb form
raised
Linking Words
also
enhanced. Add a missing verb
are also
On the other hand
, if someone Linking Words
working
on behalf of a Wrong verb form
works
company
, he Use synonyms
ore
she Correct your spelling
or
has
not Verb problem
is
entitle
Wrong verb form
entitled
for
the whole profit and he will Change preposition
to
be received
only the portion of wealth.
Wrong verb form
receive
Overall
, Linking Words
for
being an innovator Change preposition
apply
also
has crucial Linking Words
challanges
. Among them, Correct your spelling
challenges
high stress
Add a hyphen
high-stress
level
and Fix the agreement mistake
levels
Correct article usage
the posibility
posibility
of failure Correct your spelling
possibility
are
taken Unnecessary verb
apply
the
major role. Correct article usage
a
Besides
that, Linking Words
high risk
takers will pave the way for greater profits. By concluding the mentioned details, it is Add a hyphen
high-risk
cleared
that, owning a personal Replace the word
clear
business
has Use synonyms
a huge advantages
than Correct the article-noun agreement
huge advantages
a huge advantage
disadvanates
. Correct your spelling
disadvantages
According to
my point of view, I suggest Linking Words
thatworking
for Correct your spelling
that working
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
business
is more Use synonyms
worth
than doing Replace the word
worthwhile
fixed
job role in given Correct article usage
a fixed
time lines
.Correct your spelling
timelines
Submitted by dilkiapsara on
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general
The essay effectively introduces the topic but exhibits some grammatical and lexical issues that occasionally confuse meaning. Aim for more polished sentence construction and clearer expression of ideas.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or anecdotes to substantiate your points. For example, mention a well-known entrepreneur who succeeded due to the benefits you mention or one who failed due to the risks.
task achievement
Ensure all points are explicitly supported. Expand on each advantage and disadvantage to show deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of the essay is commendable, especially the clear separation of advantages and disadvantages. However, coherence can be enhanced by better linking ideas and using transition words more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the clarity and structure of individual sentences. Too many complex sentences can muddy the ideas; sometimes simpler sentences can better convey the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt well, covering both the advantages and disadvantages of starting a business compared to working for an organization.
task achievement
The writing shows an effort to present a balanced argument and ends with a clear opinion, which is good for task response.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, shows good organization skills.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.