In spite of the advances ,advancede in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

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Nowadays, agricultural products increase significantly
however
, it does not change the rate of poor and hungry
people
all around the world. I believe many factors
such
as governments and political men play an important role in that.
Firstly
, critical research shows that the main reason for
this
problem is political men who have vital roles in low-income societies.
Moreover
, Huge and developed
countries
force smaller nations to use their natural resources to improve themselves more than previously.
Additionally
, the differences between individuals
also
have an important role in life situations and reaching food from available sources like goods that are produced by
agricultural
Add an article
the agricultural
show examples
industry.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand, dividing
countries
and helping poor
countries
in front of rich communities can be helpful and beneficial in releasing valuable food for all
people
around the world.
Besides
, preparing a wide range of production from the most reachable sources and using
recycling
Correct article usage
a recycling
show examples
type of energy can improve the situation and make a better and more comfortable life for most
people
. In conclusion, dividing advances between nations and
countries
is not awesome and in
this
age, many
people
can not reach valuables and enough food and they are so hungry,m
However
, many
people
have reached more than their needs.
This
problem depends on many factors and honestly, the disadvantages and side effects of that need to be stopped as soon as possible by the international NGOs, societies and
leaderships
Replace the word
leaders
show examples
.
Submitted by sina.salajegheh on

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task achievement
Clarify the roles and impacts of government and political figures on agricultural distribution and food scarcity. A clear distinction should be made between various factors contributing to the problem.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or case studies illustrating how political dynamics affect food distribution. This can strengthen your arguments significantly.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and main points. Clear transitioning phrases can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the main points are supported with relevant details or examples.
coherence cohesion
Refine the conclusion to summarize the main points more effectively and offer more tangible solutions or actions that can be taken to address the issue.
task achievement
The essay identifies multiple factors contributing to global hunger despite advances in agriculture.
task achievement
The writer suggests potential solutions, such as international cooperation and efforts to redistribute food resources.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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