SInformation technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

#sinformation #technology #people #work #workplace #e #g #home #mobility

In the modern world, information technology allows people to

work

from

home

. The advantage of working from

home

is that you are more focused on

job

Correct pronoun usage

your job

show examples

and

thet

Correct your spelling

that

gives you more flexibility.

While

the disadvantage is there are chances of lower productivity and no face-to-face communication with colleagues. In my opinion pros outweigh

cons

Correct article usage

the cons

show examples

Correct your spelling

One

show examples

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

evident

benifit

Correct your spelling

benefit

benefits

of working remotely is people are more

focuses

Wrong verb form

focused

show examples

on their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. At

home

they get more

flexilibility

Correct your spelling

flexibility

for time management,

hence

they complete their task before

deadline

Add an article

the deadline

a deadline

show examples

. At

home

Add a comma

home,

show examples

they get

whole

Add an article

a whole

the whole

show examples

room for their

work

without any distraction from

colleague

Add an article

a colleague

show examples

, so they can

concentate

Correct your spelling

concentrate

on their task. Remote

work

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

work

independently and

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

their own decision without any hesitation.

This

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

in higher satisfaction and morale of person.

Submitted by mubassirakolia78 on Wed Aug 07 2024

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task achievement

Your essay does provide a clear position on the topic, recognizing that the benefits of mobility and working from home outweigh the disadvantages. However, try to further expand your ideas with more detailed explanations and specific examples.

coherence and cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph sticks to one main idea and develops it clearly. For instance, structure the essay so that all points about the advantages are in one paragraph, and all points about the disadvantages are in another.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion, which helps set the context for the reader.

task achievement

You identified key points both for and against the argument, showing balanced consideration of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

131 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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SInformation technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people think that introducing new technology can improve people's quality of life in the developing countries. Howevever, others believe that free education should be offered. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

In many countries, the consumption of fast food is becoming more and more popular. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend for individuals and for society as a whole.