SInformation technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the modern world, information technology allows people to
work
from
home
. The advantage of working from
home
is that you are more focused on
job
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your job
show examples
and
thet
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that
gives you more flexibility.
While
the disadvantage is there are chances of lower productivity and no face-to-face communication with colleagues. In my opinion pros outweigh
cons
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the cons
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.
On
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One
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
evident
benifit
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benefit
benefits
of working remotely is people are more
focuses
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
on their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. At
home
they get more
flexilibility
Correct your spelling
flexibility
for time management,
hence
they complete their task before
deadline
Add an article
the deadline
a deadline
show examples
. At
home
Add a comma
home,
show examples
they get
whole
Add an article
a whole
the whole
show examples
room for their
work
without any distraction from
colleague
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a colleague
show examples
, so they can
concentate
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concentrate
on their task. Remote
work
give
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gives
show examples
more
opportunity
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opportunities
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to
work
independently and
take
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make
show examples
their own decision without any hesitation.
This
result
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results
show examples
in higher satisfaction and morale of person.
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task achievement
Your essay does provide a clear position on the topic, recognizing that the benefits of mobility and working from home outweigh the disadvantages. However, try to further expand your ideas with more detailed explanations and specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph sticks to one main idea and develops it clearly. For instance, structure the essay so that all points about the advantages are in one paragraph, and all points about the disadvantages are in another.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion, which helps set the context for the reader.
task achievement
You identified key points both for and against the argument, showing balanced consideration of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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