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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, many people send their children to boarding schools so that they can have time to work. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #schools #time #work #trend
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Currently, people send their
children
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 to boarding
schools
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 and create conditions for work.
This
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 broadens the
children
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's worldview
,
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apply
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 and allows them to have a good career in the future, but it
also
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 causes them to be alone, away from their families for a long time. In my opinion, the advantages can outweigh the disadvantages if the process is well-managed. On the one hand, boarding
schools
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 often provide a structured environment that emphasizes academics, extracurricular activities, and personal development.
Children
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 learn self-reliance and develop important life skills
such
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 as time management, responsibility and flexibility.For working parents, boarding
schools
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 can provide a solution to balancing work and family life, allowing them to focus on their careers without compromising their
child
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's education.
On the other hand
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, being away from home can cause feelings of loneliness, anxiety and homesickness in
children
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, which affects their emotional state. Parents can miss important moments in their
child
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's life and have less influence on their upbringing and daily experience. Boarding
schools
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 can be expensive, making them inaccessible for many families.
This
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 can create inequality in educational opportunities. In conclusion,
while
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 boarding
schools
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 can offer a targeted learning environment, there are significant financial costs associated with them. Ultimately, the decision should be based on the
child
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's needs and family circumstances. It is important for parents to carefully consider these factors when choosing a boarding school for their
child
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.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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task response
To enhance task response, ensure that each point mentioned in the introduction is fully developed throughout the essay using specific examples. This will give your arguments greater depth and relevance.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence, try to use more varied and appropriate linking words and phrases to clearly connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
Expand on your points with more detailed and specific examples. This will make your arguments more persuasive and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
task response
You effectively outlined both the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to boarding schools.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is easy to follow, making it reader-friendly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • structured environment
  • academic excellence
  • distractions
  • social skills
  • diverse backgrounds
  • homesickness
  • emotional distress
  • mental well-being
  • parent-child relationship
  • financial burden
  • education access
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