IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The illustrations show how chocolate is produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#illustrations #show #chocolate #information #features #comparisons
The given picture provides information about how they manufacture chocolate.
Overall
, it is readily apparent that the process comprises ten steps.
Nevertheless
, there are two main parts: before the factory, and in the factory. In the first stage, farmers pick up ripe red pods from cacao trees, which are located in 3 separate nations, namely South America, Africa and Indonesia. Afterwards, white cacao
beans
 are harvested from the inner part of the pods, before the
beans
 are fermented. Once they are diffused in the sun for drying, workers transfer
beans
 to vast sacks. In the following section,
beans
 are delivered to the factory by a cargo vehicle. After that, the
beans
 are fried under high temperature,
then
 they are crushed to extract an inner part. The procedure ends when the inside part is pressured, outgoing in liquid form.
Submitted by Amir Rustamov on

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logical structure
You have appropriately divided the process into its two main parts: before the factory and in the factory. This division adds clarity to your response.
coherence cohesion
Your vocabulary and sentence structure are varied and appropriate for the task, making your essay easy to read and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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