It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
People
have different types of views on their life
. Some of them believe that taking risks
is an important part of success in private and professional life
. Another one think
that Change the verb form
thinks
risks
create more pressure and disadvantages for them.
On the one hand, taking risks
creates a huge pressure for
mental and physical health. Most Change preposition
on
people
are scared of potential failure, which affects people
’s confidence and might lead to loss of money and time, such
as investing in a new business model, studying abroad, or changing jobs. All of it creates anxiety , stress and pressure towards the challenge.
However
, most of all extraordinary ideas, research and results were done by people
who challenged themselves to doing
Change the verb form
do
a
new Correct article usage
apply
thing
and Fix the agreement mistake
things
expanding
the boundaries of their Wrong verb form
expand
mind
. Fix the agreement mistake
minds
For example
, Raymond Kroc was the founder of the first fast food
chain restaurant. He broke the usual idea of a restaurant and took a risk Add a hyphen
fast-food
for
his idea of a speed service system. Nowadays McDonald’s is the most famous restaurant in the world.
Change preposition
with
Furthermore
, there are a lot of jobs that potentially involve risks
every day such
as pilot, police officer, fireman and others. All these people
face risks
every day, but this
is their profession, which brings self-discipline, self - discovery and more life
experience. In addition
, taking risks
leads to a more exciting life
as their life
will not be a routine.
In my life
as a businessman, I take risks
every day to create new ideas and improve business processes. But I love such
a lifestyle and it brings me more colorful moments and memories.Submitted by polinaukhalova.my on
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introduction conclusion present
Consider ending your essay on a broader note by summarizing the main points and expressing a clear stance on whether you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
logical structure
Work on using a wider range of transitional phrases and connectors to improve the overall flow between your ideas.
relevant specific examples
While you provided some good examples, delve a bit deeper into how these examples specifically illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks to enhance your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view which helps with task achievement.
relevant specific examples
The use of specific examples, such as Raymond Kroc and professions that involve risks, strengthens your essay.
supported main points
Your main points are supported with explanations that make the essay coherent and the argument easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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