IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

There is a problem with the changing rooms in the sports centre that you visit. You have complained several times but with no success. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre. In your letter: • describe what the problem with the changing rooms is • say what happened the last time ms you complained • explain what you want the manager to do.

#rooms #sports #centre #visit #times #success #manager #time #ms
Dear Sir, I'm writing
this
 letter
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some reasons which my dissatisfaction
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the changing rooms. My name is Shabnam and I visit near sports centre
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in Mubarak because I'm big into sports. But nowadays I see that there
appear
Change the verb form
appears
show examples
 some problem with
changing
Correct article usage
the changing
show examples
 room wall.
Also
, I already noted
this
 problem to the worker but he didn't
anything
Add a missing verb
do anything
show examples
 about it. I look forward to hearing back from you. Yours faithfully, Shabnam
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Expand on the problem with the changing rooms. Mention specific issues, such as cleanliness, facilities, or maintenance.
task achievement
Describe what happened in more detail when you last complained. Did you speak to a manager, and what was their response?
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs better. Each bullet point in the prompt should be addressed in a separate paragraph for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve the flow of your sentences to make the letter more readable. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better.
greeting and closing
Your greeting and closing are appropriately formal.
suitable writing tone
The tone of your letter is polite and suitable for a formal complaint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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