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Band 1.5

Some people think studying in groups is better, while some think self study is better for school students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #groups #think #self #study #school #students
Some individuals think studying in groups is better,
on the other
hand
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hand,
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 some people prefer
self studying
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self-studying
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 for school
students
. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that studying
individual
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individually
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 can help
students
improvement
Replace the word
improve their
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 progress. Studying in groups will improve
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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cooperate
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cooperative
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behavior
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behaviour
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significantlly
Correct your spelling
significantly
, which will help them
in
Change preposition
for
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 three main reasons.
Firstly
, nowadays a lot of parents can't deal with
there
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their
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 children, so helping
students
 by teaching them the cooperation attitude, can help parents to deal with them.
Also
by
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apply
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helping them to cooperate will make them better group
worker
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workers
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, which will help them a lot in future.
However
,
self studying
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self-studying
show examples
 will help them to be more competitive. In conclusion , ethier self studying or studying in groups will help
student
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students
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 in different ways, so I think we can improve both behaviors, to make
students
can
Verb problem
apply
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adapt
in
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to
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 any atmosphere of working .
Submitted by khalidashgar23 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate on your main points through more detailed examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on making smoother transitions between your points for better flow.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary choice to strengthen your arguments.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which gives your essay a clear framework.
task achievement
The essay has a reasonably clear position and addresses both perspectives on the topic.
task achievement
You have made an effort to support your points, which improves the relevance of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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