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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life
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In my opinion competition at
work
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, at
school
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 and in daily
life
Use synonyms
 can both be a good thing and a bad thing. Why? because I think too much of anything can be destructive. Yes, it's a very good thing to be competitive but don't overdo it! Having no competition in your
life
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 at all can be very depressing
,
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apply
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 because you have no motivation, no goals you want to achieve,
everytime
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every time
show examples
 you wake up in the morning. I don't believe that there is
such
Linking Words
 thing as "co-operating" too much
,
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apply
show examples
 when you
work
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 with someone you should
work
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 together as a team and co-operate, but
also
Linking Words
 do things for yourself, like something career-wise. You should think of your future in your
work
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. That goes the same if you are still in
school
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, take my
school
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life
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for example
Linking Words
. If I am very good at one subject
in particular
Linking Words
, lots of other
student
Change to a plural noun
students
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 may come up to me and ask for pointers. I would be very glad to help them. If there is any homework,
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school mates
Correct your spelling
schoolmates
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 may come over to do it together.
this
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
 fine and very good for building
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
. But sometimes there are people who think you are so nice and ask you to do their
work
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 for them.
This
Linking Words
 is where you should draw the line, yes you are friends and you should help each other, but that doesn't mean that you have to do their homework or give them
answer
Fix the agreement mistake
answers
show examples
 when there is a test. Remember
life
Use synonyms
 is a competition, be a winner.
Submitted by patelvaibhav1463 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your main points. This will give your essay a more structured feel.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion to summarize your main points effectively. This will leave a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
Discuss both views more comprehensively. This will ensure you are addressing all parts of the task evenly.
task achievement
You provided specific examples, such as your experiences in school, to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates logical progression from one idea to another, which aids coherence.
task achievement
You provided some nuance by acknowledging both positives and negatives of competition and cooperation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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