Nowadays group of people believe that newspapre i the best way to get news,However, other people think social media is better. This essay discuss both of this veaws and explain why I think media is better than newspaper,

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There is no denying
on
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apply
show examples
that several
individual's
Change noun form
individuals
show examples
thinking
Replace the word
think
show examples
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
reading
newspapers
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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the best option
while
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other's 
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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are that
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
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is better.
Thus
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we are going to write
some
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about some
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advantages of both views and
at the
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end
Add a comma
end,
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I will give my own opinion.    On the one
hand
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hand,
show examples
reading
newspapers
Use synonyms
are able to have
multitude
Add an article
a multitude
show examples
of pros if you can use it
widely
Correct your spelling
wisely
show examples
.
Newspapers
Use synonyms
are typed about social dilemmas
such
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as some family
problem
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problems
show examples
or environmental dilemmas which are tackled by people  who
works
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work
show examples
to
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for
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the government. So family
problem
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problems
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have been published
to
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in
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the
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
because
of
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apply
show examples
it can be helpful to others to address their own almost similar
for
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apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
issues.
And environmental
Correct word choice
Environmental
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dilemmas
had
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have
show examples
been published in order to attract each human to solve problems which
is
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are
show examples
bond
Correct your spelling
bound
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to the environment.
Hence
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,
Linking Words
this type
Fix the agreement mistake
these types
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of things
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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manage to help each person
to
Verb problem
apply
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live more
healthy
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healthily
show examples
.   
On the other
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
social networking
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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been
facilitating
Wrong verb form
facilitated
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and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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multiple
of
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apply
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benefits.
First
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First,
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we live in an age when many of us
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
really love communicating with
other
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others
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and
there
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their
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social
media
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can help us to socialize.
Example
Correct article usage
An example
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for
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of
show examples
this
Linking Words
is when
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
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was published something people
are really admire
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really admire
show examples
to give comments
for
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on
show examples
everything and with
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this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
they can socialise with each other. The biggest pros of utilizing social
media
Use synonyms
is
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are
show examples
you are able to seek everything
what
Change the word
that
show examples
you want to watch
for instance
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on
telegram
Capitalize word
Telegram
show examples
you can follow some canals in order to learn something.   In
conclusion
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conclusion,
show examples
this
Linking Words
essay was written in order to discuss either opinion which
are
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is
show examples
some people believe that
newspapers
Use synonyms
are the greatest method of reading news
while
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other's
Change noun form
others
show examples
opine  that social
media
Use synonyms
is better.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
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I can say that if you want to read some news, I wholeheartedly recommend
to read
Change the verb form
reading
show examples
it by social networking because it is able to give you more details.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
One area for improvement is to directly address each point more clearly and provide more concrete examples. For instance, specific examples showing how newspapers help individuals address family or environmental issues could strengthen the argument.
language
Some sentences are structured awkwardly or contain minor grammatical errors. Paying closer attention to sentence structure and grammar would elevate the essay's clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas within each paragraph flow logically from one to the next. Topic sentences were occasionally weak, potentially disrupting the flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides balanced viewpoints on both newspapers and social media.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and adequately frame the discussion, outlining the essay’s purpose and summarizing the viewpoints.
logical structure
There is a clear attempt to organize the essay into distinct paragraphs, each addressing different aspects of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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