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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below show current rates of secondary and higher education among people in various parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show current rates of secondary and higher education among people in various parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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the two presented bar charts compare the current proportion of adult and
school aged
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school-aged
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population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 in different parts of the world( Europe, SSA, Latin
Amercia
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America
 and East Asia)
f or
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for
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 males and females.
overall
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, the percentage of
school-aged
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the school-aged
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 population is almost more than
adult
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adults
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 for both males and females except
the
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for the
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 male category in SSA.
while
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 in Europe the percentage of people who are
in
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apply
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school-aged in both men and women sections are over twice as high as
adult
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adults
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.
According to
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 the first figure, in East
Asia
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Asia,
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 the number of men is more than women ( more than 45% and less than 45%, respectively).
in contrast
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, in three other
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areas
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area
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area,
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 the numbers of women are more than men. and
also
Linking Words
 the SSA stands in the fourth(
last
Linking Words
) place with almost 10% and 20% for
male
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males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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, respectively).
In addition
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 to
second
Correct article usage
the second
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 chart the number of
female
Change to a plural noun
females
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 in
europe
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Europe
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 is more than
male
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males
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.
whereas
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, for three other
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
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 the number of
male
Change to a plural noun
males
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 is more than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trends
  • disparities
  • secondary education
  • higher education
  • rates
  • regions
  • significant
  • analysis
  • comparisons
  • economic conditions
  • social conditions
  • political conditions
  • highlighting
  • notable gap
  • observed
  • surprising findings
  • affirming
  • overview
  • illustrate
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