You are interested in applying for a scholarship program to study at a foreign university. Write a letter to inquire about the course. In your letter: *explain which course you are interested in *say what you know about the university *explain why you should receive the scholarship

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
letter to get a chance to get a scholarship by applying to
program
Correct article usage
the program
show examples
that you have. I want to participate
your
Change preposition
in your
show examples
extra course, which is
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
language because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
I am fascinated
this
Change preposition
by this
show examples
language. When I went to the city, I
have seen
Wrong verb form
saw
show examples
your advertisement which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
in the broadsheet and
then
I asked my close friend because he is understanding.
Therefore
, I chose your scholarship.
Furthermore
, your
university
is
well-known
Add an article
a well-known
show examples
place in your country
therefore
I know your
university
. Exactly I
find
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
out about your place where you always give
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
your
university
. I am aware of
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
.
For instance
, there are plenty of
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
classrooms,
sport club
Fix the agreement mistake
sports clubs
show examples
with vital equipment and
beauty
Replace the word
a beautiful
show examples
environment.
Firstly
, I desire to obtain
grant
Add an article
a grant
show examples
in order to I am going to live abroad state.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
there is no huge impact on the budget of my family.
Finally
my parents
proud
Add a missing verb
were proud
show examples
of me. Thank you for considering my inquiry. I look forward to your response. Yours faithfully, Umarqulov Ozodbek
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas needs enhancement. Try to use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitious phrases—especially when describing what you know about the university and why you chose it, like 'I know your university' and 'I am aware of university'.
task achievement
Pay attention to maintaining a neutral and polite tone throughout. Phrases like 'fascinated by' are great, but ensure they fit the context accurately.
coherence cohesion
The closing of the letter is appropriately polite and formal.
task achievement
You covered all aspects of the task, explaining the course of interest, what you know about the university, and why you should receive a scholarship.
task achievement
Sentences are mostly clear, making it easy to understand your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: