The diagram shows how apple is canned. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram shows how apple is canned. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
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The diagram illustrates the way how
apples
Use synonyms
are being canned .
Overall
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, the process consists of 14 stages , beginning with hand-picking and ending with despatch .
To begin
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with , in the first stage ,
apples
Use synonyms
are picked from trees by hand and
then
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loaded into a container for shipping. Next ,
apples
Use synonyms
are washed with water and
then
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checked by Microsoft to determine their quality. In the fifth step ,
apples
Use synonyms
are cooled by a cooling refrigerator and
then
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weighed by a spring balance.
Furthermore
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, after weighing ,
apples
Use synonyms
are cut by an instrument into slices and
then
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packed into canes .
Moreover
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,in the eleventh stage , packed canes are heated by a microwave oven for sterilization to remove the germs. After being sterilised, cans are labelled with tape and
then
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in the twelfth stage
apples
Use synonyms
are stored in a hall.
Finally
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,
apples
Use synonyms
are despatched and distributed to shops .
Submitted by mianraza686 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words apples with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • canning process
  • systematic nature
  • ripe apples
  • preservatives
  • sterilization
  • distribution
  • technology-intensive
  • longevity
  • quality control
  • packaging
  • hygiene standards
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