IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems.You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company *Introduce yourself *Explain the situation *Say what action you would like the company to take

#camera #home #company #representative #week #*introduce #*explain #situation #*say #action
Dear Sir, I am writing in order to complain about employees of your
company
 I have been a regular customer of your
company
 for many years.I always pick up items which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 technical,
for instance
, microphone, computer and so on.
However
,I purchased
camera
Add an article
a camera
the camera
show examples
 for my brother as a gift. When I went to the home,I saw that it had some
problems
.
Firstly
, there was a problem with the
camera
's linza.It was broken.
Secondly
,
cabel
Correct article usage
the cabel
show examples
 of changing was not working well.
For
this
 reason,I returned the
camera
 to the
company
 and told all the
problems
 your
company
 representative,
then
 I left the
camera
 to the workers for fixing
problems
 a week ago.But,today I went to the
company
 in the morning
for bringing
Change preposition
to bring
show examples
 my
camera
,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 has still not been repaired.
Thats
Correct your spelling
That's
show examples
 why I needed to wait a long time
while
 fixing
problems
Correct article usage
the problems
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
camera
Correct article usage
the camera
show examples
. I would be grateful if you take action
your
Change preposition
on your
show examples
employeers
Correct your spelling
employees
employers
 responsibilities .I think, if you punish the member of staff,they will be more responsible for their job Yours faithfully, Madina Sattorova
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear and concise introduction about yourself and why you are writing the letter. It helps set the context for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there are clear topic sentences for each paragraph to maintain a strong logical structure throughout the letter.
task achievement
Use a more formal tone, especially when discussing dissatisfaction and requesting action from the company.
single idea per paragraph
Good use of paragraphing with each paragraph addressing a different aspect of the issue.
greeting and closing
The letter has a clear greeting and closing, making it easy to follow.
complete response
The letter addresses all necessary points: introduction, explanation of the situation, and requested action.

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