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Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people today believe that the world's increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis.Other people believe that world population is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world's economy and society. Discuss both views and give your option.

#people #world #population #crisis #growth #economy #society #option
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population growth always
was
Verb problem
been
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 an important topic to talk about . as the population
growth
Replace the word
grows
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 more , we will need more food and facilities to live . for a lot of people having several kids is a must , and their goal , but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
the
Correct article usage
apply
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better lives
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more important than more lives , so in my
view
Add a comma
view,
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 if we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 control the population on earth there will be hunger strikes and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of jobs and low quality of life
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 if people can provide
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 happiness and needs it
good
Add a missing verb
is good
show examples
 to have more children .
Submitted by pouria.sharifzad on

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task achievement
Develop a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction to outline your main points.
task achievement
Provide more detailed supporting points and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and logically flows from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points and restates your thesis.
content
The essay raises valid concerns about overpopulation and its potential consequences.
content
You have made an effort to present both viewpoints in the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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