Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
These days, pupils who
graduated
from Wrong verb form
graduate
callage
have various Correct your spelling
college
collage
plane
from Correct your spelling
plans
time
which they have it until university , so a group of them Correct article usage
the time
desighnete
working, Correct your spelling
designate
designed
while
another
ones choose Replace the adjective
other
traveling
to other areas or countries; Change the verb form
to travel
however
, some people believe it is important that they working instead
of traveling
owing to the fact that they obtain a lot of experience that Change the spelling
travelling
help
them in adult life. In my opinion, working is the good Change the verb form
helps
things
and is the best Fix the agreement mistake
thing
things
for people who have money Fix the agreement mistake
thing
problem
, but Fix the agreement mistake
problems
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
ones
can improve their Correct pronoun usage
apply
knowldege
about Correct your spelling
knowledge
their
world by Change the word
the
traveling
.
On the one hand, Change the spelling
travelling
teenagers
who cannot obtain fun from various organizations and Change preposition
for teenagers
our
Correct pronoun usage
whose
family
cannot pay their money, the best select is Fix the agreement mistake
families
working
because they have income; Replace the word
work
moreover
, they can save it and working is the best thing in their resume for getting other jobs
opportunities. Change the noun form
job
In addition
, they can learn new things
that help them become more better un
their work. Correct your spelling
in
For instance
, most young generations who live in the
poor zones or countries which are not Correct article usage
apply
development
countries have Replace the word
developing
working
after Replace the word
work
schools
inasmuch as they need money Fix the agreement mistake
school
for following
their Change preposition
to follow
educations
.
Fix the agreement mistake
education
On the other hand
, when you are from not only reach families but also
aid you to enhance, you can travel after leaving school also
, travel have
several merits for young people. Change the verb form
has
Firstly
, you can experience new
Add an article
a new
culture
, foods, Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
an
other Correct your spelling
and
things
which are origion
from one region. Correct your spelling
origin
Secondly
, you can see special natures such
as niagara
waterfall, Sahra Change the capitalization
Niagara
disert
, and other where. Correct your spelling
desert
Thirdly
, have
a trip is the best Wrong verb form
having
things
for Fix the agreement mistake
thing
realxation
Correct your spelling
relaxation
befor
starting new academic positions. On the other worlds, Correct your spelling
before
jorneys
climb our level of knowledge and Correct your spelling
journeys
make
a nice Verb problem
provide
change
to Correct your spelling
chance
be come
relax and begin new Verb problem
apply
things
more
Correct your spelling
for
better
.
Correct article usage
the better
To sum up
, both working and travelling is the
good thing ; Correct article usage
a
nevertheless
, I advise that if students have a situation travelling is the best item that working .Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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Grammar & Accuracy
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that hinder the clarity of your arguments.
Coherence
Make sure to strengthen the logical connections between your ideas. Some points feel disconnected, and transitions between paragraphs could be smoother.
Task Response
Provide more detailed and specific examples to illustrate your points. This will help enhance the relevance and depth of your arguments.
Structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a well-structured essay.
Content
The essay presents both sides of the argument, showcasing an understanding of the topic's complexity.