Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's worl, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about whether pupils should about some folk large population and
be
learn Unnecessary verb
apply
history
or science a lot. While
history
provides variety
of advantages to our world, I believe that science and technology subjects are more important in schools.
Add an article
a variety
One
the one hand, Correct your spelling
On
history
teach
us our ancient and Change the verb form
teaches
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
simpler
to understand our Correct pronoun usage
it simpler
worlds
change. When we learn more Change noun form
world's
thing
about Fix the agreement mistake
things
history
, our knowladge
about the situation surrounding around becomes more Correct your spelling
knowledge
noticable
and we interpret it more Correct your spelling
noticeable
clear
. Change the word
clearly
In addition
, we would learn so much
things about our ancestors and it Change the quantifier
many
provides
Verb problem
would
preventing
some cases before. Wrong verb form
prevent
For instance
, historians have resarched
in
MesopotamiaCorrect your spelling
researched
Add a missing verb
is
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
they
hadCorrect pronoun usage
apply
Add an article
a
then
had
died for Unnecessary verb
apply
uncertain
Add an article
an uncertain
reason
. The research shows that the folk Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
had
died because of climate change in BC 2000. Now they Unnecessary verb
apply
try
to apply Wrong verb form
are trying
similar
situation to Correct article usage
a similar
present
to prevent Correct article usage
the present
this
.
One
the other hand, Correct your spelling
On
history
can be biased and it can be change
for government opinion. Pupils can learn about Change the verb form
be changed
history
by
their own in Change preposition
on
diversity
of books and Add an article
the diversity
a diversity
documentary
. I think it is impossible to remove Fix the agreement mistake
documentaries
history
classes because of their importance but lesson hours can be decrease
. When I went to high school, I learnt eight our per week biology, physics, chemistry and again biology respectively and our Change the verb form
be decreased
history
lessons hours was
two hours per week during Correct subject-verb agreement
were
the
high school time.
In conclusion, I can understand why people might think Correct article usage
apply
to
Change preposition
apply
history
is more
important subject than others, but it seems to me today's world, almost all problems are solved by computers and thanks Correct article usage
a more
for
Change preposition
to
the
technology. And these subjects are more Correct article usage
apply
usefull
for students to build their Correct your spelling
useful
career
easily.Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Submitted by bkardelenyilmazz on
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task achievement
Your introduction is clear and outlines both sides of the argument. However, make sure to proofread your work to avoid grammatical errors, as these can detract from the clarity of your message.
task achievement
While you provide relevant examples, such as the Mesopotamian climate change, be sure to fully develop these points and explain their connection to your argument explicitly.
task achievement
Work on extending your arguments with deeper analysis. For example, explain how science and technology subjects directly contribute to solving modern problems.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use transition words and phrases more effectively. For example, instead of "One the other hand," you might write "On the other hand," and instead of "I think," you might say "In my opinion."
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and word choice. Phrases like "one the one hand" should be corrected to "on the one hand" to maintain readability.
coherence cohesion
Try to link your conclusion to the arguments you’ve made throughout the essay. Make sure it not only summarizes your points but provides a final cohesive statement that ties everything together.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, and your paragraphs have a clear focus.
task achievement
You have included a relevant example about Mesopotamia, which adds depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.