IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have recently moved to a new home. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter: explain why you have moved describe the new house invite your friend to come and visit.

#minutes #home #friend #house #visit
Hello, my dear friend. As you
maybe
Correct your spelling
may have
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 heard, I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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moved to Canada from Israel
few
Change the article
a few
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 months ago. My husband
has
Verb problem
was
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 invited by his company to change the place, so we did it. Today we are living in Richmond Hill, Ontario, in the big townhouse with our daughters and cats. We have 3 bedrooms,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 huge kitchen and
finished
Correct article usage
a finished
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 basement. We settled our workroom,
as well as
children
Change noun form
children's
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 playroom, in the basement.
Furthermore
, we ta very small pretty garden, so I'm trying to experiment with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gardening. We have a lot of beautiful minutes sitting there. I want to invite you to see us in our new house. We will have
a
Remove the article
apply
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plenty of time to talk, and beautiful places to see. Looking forward to seeing you. Best regards, Anastassia.
Submitted by anastasia on

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task achievement
Ensure subject-verb agreement for better accuracy, for example, 'My husband was invited by his company' instead of 'My husband has invited by his company.'
coherence cohesion
Try to use more transition words for smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs, such as 'Additionally' or 'Moreover' when you introduce new features of your home.
task achievement
The letter is clear and addresses all the key points required by the task: the reason for moving, description of the new house, and invitation to visit.
task achievement
Good use of a friendly, conversational tone which is suitable for a letter to a friend.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of a greeting and closing that makes the letter feel warm and personal.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are organized logically, and there is a sense of structure in the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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