Nowadays，a lot of people enjoy watching sports on TV. Do you think the advantages of watching sports on TV outweigh the disadvantages?

#nowadays，a #people #sports #tv

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Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

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advertising

sports

Use synonyms

products is thought by some to be fair for

sports

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players

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, other people think that

sports

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should be leisure activities. In my opinion, I believe that

athletes

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can advertise

sports

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products as they have a strong influence

Change preposition

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the audience. Admittedly, I believe there are some great benefits of

sports

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players

Use synonyms

advertising for products.

Firstly

Linking Words

athletes

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can make an improvement

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their income.

This

Linking Words

helps them to benefit from the fame and

offer

Correct subject-verb agreement

offers

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them

Remove the article

apply

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financial stability after retirement.

Secondly

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

players

Use synonyms

spend a lot of time and energy improving their bodies to reach the required level of being professionals.

For example

Linking Words

, football

players

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need to train

two

Change preposition

for two

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hours in the gym every day to increase their performance and skills.

Furthermore

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, it is useful to encourage people to do

sports

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

the influence of famous

athletes

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Nevertheless

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, despite the advantages above there are some who consider that

sports

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ought to be leisure activities only. In

other word

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another word

other words

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, doing

sports

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batter to be free without any payment because

sports

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are just a way

Linking Words

whereas

Correct word choice

apply

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people enjoy in

free

Correct pronoun usage

their free

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time or keep fit. Another issue is that making

sports

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

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business

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

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a numerous problem,

for instance

Linking Words

, when

sports

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become

market

Correct article usage

a market

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for earning money,

athletes

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will focus more

to get

Change preposition

on getting

show examples

high

Correct article usage

a high

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salary and practice

sports

Use synonyms

source

Add an article

a source

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of income

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

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might lead them to take

drug

Fix the agreement mistake

drugs

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for having

Change preposition

to have

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more energy.

Also

Linking Words

players

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will try to have a place in the background rather than playing

sports

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. In conclusion, getting money from

sports

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or working out in the gym far outweighs any of the minor benefits that could result from

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

leisure activities.

Submitted by s_syedy on Thu Aug 08 2024

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task achievement

Work on providing more specific and relevant examples to illustrate your main points. This can add strength to your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Focus on improving the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next and that ideas are clearly linked.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and well-stated, which provides a good backbone for the essay.

task achievement

The essay responds well to the task, addressing different perspectives on the issue.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Nowadays，a lot of people enjoy watching sports on TV. Do you think the advantages of watching sports on TV outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Eco-tourism usually involves people visiting remote areas. Some people think this will have a negative impact on local cultures and communities. What problems can result from eco-tourism? What measures can be taken to protect local culture and communities?

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that merchandise cannot be returned.

Nowadays most people learn academic study in university, but others think we should encourage them to learn vocational skills more, do you agree or disagree?

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.