Some people argue that it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school while others belive that parents should do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There
are
Change the verb form
is
baised
Correct your spelling
biased
based
opinion
on transportation service
for children
to school where some people states that government is responsibe
for transit. Correct your spelling
responsible
However
, on other
Correct article usage
the other
hand
some people believe that Add a comma
hand,
parents
should personally drop off and pick up their children
. prior giving
my Change preposition
to giving
opinion
both the views would be discussed further
.
In support to
the first Change preposition
of
view point
, Correct your spelling
viewpoint
government
providing transit bus Correct article usage
the government
service
for childrens
is valid because the lagislation plays Correct your spelling
children
major
role in Add an article
a major
education
system for students. Add an article
the education
For instance
, in many European countries there
are flexible bus Correct pronoun usage
apply
service
is provided, which pick
Correct subject-verb agreement
picks
Change preposition
up childrens
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
as well as
teachers from their home
. Fix the agreement mistake
homes
This
facility is convinent
and time as Correct your spelling
convenient
wellas
Correct your spelling
well as
money saving
. Add a hyphen
money-saving
Also
, there would be less traffic in
school premises which Change preposition
on
leads
to Wrong verb form
would lead
less
accidents, Change the quantifier
fewer
easy
Correct word choice
and easy
passings
for everyone.
On Fix the agreement mistake
passing
other
hand, In Correct article usage
the other
opinion
of Add an article
the opinion
crowd
supporting Add an article
the crowd
Correct article usage
the later
later
view, Correct your spelling
latter
Parents
should do pickup and drop off service
of
their Change preposition
for
childrens
for sofety and betterment Correct your spelling
children
purpose
. Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
Parents
can track their daily academic pdates
from their mentors. Correct your spelling
dates
This
would eventually help parents
to guide child
in Add an article
the child
a child
correct
direction. Add an article
the correct
Moreover
, friend
circle plays Correct article usage
the friend
major
role Add an article
a major
behind
the success of Change preposition
in
children
. Parents
can meet their friends
Change to a genitive case
friend's
friends'
parents
which create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
strong
bond between their Add an article
a strong
children
.
In conclusion, after discussing both the
Correct article usage
apply
opinion
I believe, Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
government
should provide transportation Add an article
the government
service
for students as Fix the agreement mistake
services
their
is Replace the word
there
convinient
for distance living Students Correct your spelling
convenient
as well as
there would be less traffic in Correct article usage
the premices
premices
which would help Correct your spelling
premises
student
to walk freely Fix the agreement mistake
students
in
Campus. Change preposition
on
Where as
if every Correct your spelling
Whereas
parents
starts visiting school for the Change to a singular noun
parent
children
. There would be lots materialistic
loss in each Change preposition
of materialistic
transpartation
.Correct your spelling
transportation
Submitted by varnibhatt2121 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure to proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors to make the writing clearer.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs and between sections for smoother transitions.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points and make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
You have addressed both views and provided your opinion, which shows a balanced approach to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which gives a clear structure to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!