many governments think that economic progress is their most important goals.Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Economic
progress
is thought to be the most important goal for many domestic organs.Whereas
, some other groups declare that other kind
of approaches have equal importance for a Change the wording
kinds
country
. I totally agree with the former idea.
Developing economic
can directly have Replace the word
economics
impact
on other Add an article
an impact
progress
. If a country
's economic
Replace the word
economy
improved
, other parts Wrong verb form
improves
such
as culture, social issues, and education will get enough budget to get improved as well. An ideal economy
can face all the sanctions and take the advantages
of developing the Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
country
in many fields
.Facing crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
such
as poverty and unemployment, which can be solved by Correct article usage
a poweful
poweful
Correct your spelling
powerful
economy
, leads to raise
capital for all national sectors like national factories, Change the verb form
raising
sport
teams,and investigations that all hand in hand prove the Change the noun form
sports
county's
circumstances.Correct your spelling
country's
For example
, if palestine
had had a Change the capitalization
Palestine
poweful
Correct your spelling
powerful
economy
, it would have made a stronge
military and won Correct your spelling
strong
stronger
in
the war.
Other aspects may play a Change preposition
apply
fundemental
role Correct your spelling
fundamental
as
Change preposition
in
economy
.The other breakthroughs in other parts Add an article
the economy
an economy
such
as education,culture,and social issues seem to be some countries
priorities because, These factors are consisting the majority of Change noun form
country's
countries'
countries
situations, so these Change noun form
countries'
country's
catch_all
terms catch equal attention. Focusing on people's Correct your spelling
catch-all
indentity
, these kinds of improvements get the chance to affect all steps of walks as soon as possible and Correct your spelling
identity
develope
the Correct your spelling
develop
country
. This
argument is not convincing for
me ,Change preposition
to
however
, economic development is able to play a fruitful role. In that case, economic issues need more attention than other fields
.
In conclusion, The reasons why some governments think of economic progress
as a significant factor are because of the direct effect of economy
on other Add an article
the economy
progress
and the more attention need
for improving the Wrong verb form
is needed
economy
the more developing
Replace the word
development
appear
. In Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
addintion
, some Correct your spelling
addition
other
claim that other developments are as important as Fix the agreement mistake
others
economy
since Correct article usage
the economy
such
fields
can impact on
people's Change preposition
apply
indentity
. Personally, I do agree with the first idea as Correct your spelling
identity
economy
has a massive impact on all other Add an article
the economy
fields
.Submitted by ghorabibita on
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general
Although your essay is well-structured, some sentences could be clearer with minor grammatical improvements. Pay particular attention to sentence fragments and subject-verb agreement.
general
Ensure that each paragraph distinctly supports a single main idea. Some of your paragraphs have multiple main ideas which can be slightly confusing.
specific
In the introduction, add a bit more context or background information to support your stance. This will help frame your argument more effectively.
specific
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points. The examples you have are good, but adding variety and specificity can further strengthen your essay.
general
Your introduction clearly states both viewpoints and takes a stance, which is excellent for setting the tone of your essay.
general
You provide a logical structure to your essay by presenting both sides of the argument and then providing your own opinion, which helps in keeping the reader engaged.
specific
Your use of complex sentences and academic vocabulary is commendable and adds depth to your arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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