many governments think that economic progress is their most important goals.Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Economic
progress
is thought to be the most important goal for many domestic organs.
Whereas
, some other groups declare that other
kind
Change the wording
kinds
show examples
of approaches have equal importance for a
country
. I totally agree with the former idea. Developing
economic
Replace the word
economics
show examples
can directly have
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
on other
progress
. If a
country
's
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
improved
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
, other parts
such
as culture, social issues, and education will get enough budget to get improved as well. An ideal
economy
can face all the sanctions and take the
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
of developing the
country
in many
fields
.Facing
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
such
as poverty and unemployment, which can be solved by
Correct article usage
a poweful
show examples
poweful
Correct your spelling
powerful
economy
, leads to
raise
Change the verb form
raising
show examples
capital for all national sectors like national factories,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
teams,and investigations that all hand in hand prove the
county's
Correct your spelling
country's
show examples
circumstances.
For example
, if
palestine
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Palestine
show examples
had had a
poweful
Correct your spelling
powerful
economy
, it would have made a
stronge
Correct your spelling
strong
stronger
military and won
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the war. Other aspects may play a
fundemental
Correct your spelling
fundamental
role
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
economy
Add an article
the economy
an economy
show examples
.The other breakthroughs in other parts
such
as education,culture,and social issues seem to be some
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
show examples
priorities because, These factors are consisting the majority of
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
situations, so these
catch_all
Correct your spelling
catch-all
terms catch equal attention. Focusing on people's
indentity
Correct your spelling
identity
, these kinds of improvements get the chance to affect all steps of walks as soon as possible and
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
the
country
.
This
argument is not convincing
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
me ,
however
, economic development is able to play a fruitful role. In that case, economic issues need more attention than other
fields
. In conclusion, The reasons why some governments think of economic
progress
as a significant factor are because of the direct effect of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
on other
progress
and the more attention
need
Wrong verb form
is needed
show examples
for improving the
economy
the more
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
show examples
. In
addintion
Correct your spelling
addition
, some
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
claim that other developments are as important as
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
since
such
fields
can impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people's
indentity
Correct your spelling
identity
. Personally, I do agree with the first idea as
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
has a massive impact on all other
fields
.
Submitted by ghorabibita on

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general
Although your essay is well-structured, some sentences could be clearer with minor grammatical improvements. Pay particular attention to sentence fragments and subject-verb agreement.
general
Ensure that each paragraph distinctly supports a single main idea. Some of your paragraphs have multiple main ideas which can be slightly confusing.
specific
In the introduction, add a bit more context or background information to support your stance. This will help frame your argument more effectively.
specific
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points. The examples you have are good, but adding variety and specificity can further strengthen your essay.
general
Your introduction clearly states both viewpoints and takes a stance, which is excellent for setting the tone of your essay.
general
You provide a logical structure to your essay by presenting both sides of the argument and then providing your own opinion, which helps in keeping the reader engaged.
specific
Your use of complex sentences and academic vocabulary is commendable and adds depth to your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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