IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You have lost your student identification card. This has created some problems for you. Write a letter to the director of student services. In your letter advise them of your situation explain how this is affecting you request a new card You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#student #identification #card #director #services #situation #request #addresses
Dear Sir, I am a
student
 at your college studying in the final year of fine arts course. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that I accidentally lost my
student
 ID
card
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
 travelling from college to home through public transport.
Initially
, I tried to look for the
card
 by myself but was unable to find it.
This
 has created a lot of problems for me, especially
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Change the word
my
show examples
 studies.
Firstly
, I am unable to use the college library.
Secondly
, the tutor does not allow me to enter the computer lab because without
identification
Correct article usage
an identification
show examples
card
 pupils are not allowed to use the computers.
Lastly
, I am not able to make full use of
institute's
Correct article usage
the institute's
show examples
student
club house
Correct your spelling
clubhouse
show examples
 as one cannot enter the
buliding
Correct your spelling
building
 without proving the identity.
Nonetheless
, I have explained in detail
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the problems I am facing, owing to
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of
student
Correct pronoun usage
my student
show examples
card
. I urge you to reissue a new
student
 identification
card
, it would solve the issues I am facing
rightnow
Correct your spelling
right now
. I am looking forward to hearing a positive response from your side. Yours faithfully, Jatinder.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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task achievement
Make sure to proofread your writing to avoid any grammatical or typographical errors, such as 'rightnow' which should be 'right now', 'owing to loss' which should be 'owing to the loss', and 'buliding' which should be 'building'.
coherence cohesion
Providing a brief explanation of who you are at the beginning was a good idea. You could further enhance coherence by structuring the problems you are facing into separate paragraphs for each issue.
coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, you might want to enrich your vocabulary by using varied and precise words and expressions.
task achievement
The purpose of the letter is clearly stated and all three required points are addressed effectively (advising of the situation, explaining how it is affecting you, and requesting a new card).
coherence cohesion
The letter has a logical flow and is easy to follow. You have used paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas.
task achievement
The formal tone of the letter is well-maintained throughout, making your request sound polite and reasonable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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