Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, numerous teenagers can learn productively by using electronic devices, so their guardians should allow them to access the
TV
at home and school
while
others think that it is not a crucial learning method. In my opinion, I believe that learning from different sources
such
as books and newspapers is more important than devices.
To begin
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV
can lead to addiction for younger people as it contains various
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
.
For example
, there are games and toys, showing in the middle of the
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
broadcast,
yielding
Verb problem
causing
show examples
young people to be attracted by other materials.
Thus
,
this
may encourage children to lose concentration on the main purpose of studying, so they will
continueously
Correct your spelling
continuously
use the
TV
for different uses of enjoyment.
In addition
, the
TV
does not improve
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading
skills
and writing
skills
as it shows summarised texts rather than completed paragraphs.
For instance
, the
TV
expresses
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
short content to gain
attention
Correct article usage
the attention
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
teenagers, causing the absence of detailed learning materials
such
as a poem and a theory.
Hence
, they will be discouraged
to start
Verb problem
from
show examples
reading a long text, causing a lack of literature
skills
. In
contranst
Correct your spelling
contrast
, the electronic device
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
listening
skills
significantly since it
coveys
Correct your spelling
conveys
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information by
conversation
Add an article
a conversation
the conversation
show examples
between several
creaters
Correct your spelling
creators
, so it could be the best way of approaching a variety of languages.
However
, learners with a high level of listening
skills
will struggle to score well on tests provided by schools. In conclusion,
although
there is a diverse
ways
Change the noun form
way
show examples
of learning, using the
TV
is not a dramatic factor
to gain
Change preposition
in gaining
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge, so written resources are suggested to improve the
overall
skill.
Submitted by az7082687 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are fully supported with relevant and specific examples. For instance, you could mention specific educational programmes or studies showing the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of TV as a learning tool.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas by using clear transition words and phrases between paragraphs. This will ensure your argument is easy to follow.
task achievement
Consider addressing potential counterarguments in more detail to present a more balanced perspective.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
supported main points
You effectively point out that TV can lead to distractions and provide a valid argument about its limitations in promoting literacy skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • source of distraction
  • educational content
  • entertainment shows
  • advertisements
  • inappropriate content
  • hinders learning
  • interactive learning opportunities
  • traditional classroom settings
  • one-way medium
  • individual learning needs
  • prolonged screen time
  • negative health effects
  • eye strain
  • poor posture
  • lack of physical activity
  • overall development
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • interactive, hands-on activities
  • passive television watching
  • participatory forms of learning
  • group projects
  • experiments
  • real-world problem solving
  • cognitive abilities
  • social skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: