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Writing Samples
Band 5

Influence of human beings on the world's ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio- diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity? What solutions can you suggest?

#influence #beings #world #ecosystem #extinction #species #loss #bio- #diversity #bio-diversity
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It is clear that
 throughout the history of
humankind
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humankind,
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 mankind has influenced changes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature drastically. It includes processes
such
 as die out of various animals, insects and plants. In my personal
opinion
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opinion,
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 there are several main reasons for
this
 process. First of all, as the population of humankind was growing, people were forced to cut out large sites of forests in order to achieve more space for living and manufacturing goods.
This
 situation
subsequently
 leads to loss of
bio-diversity
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biodiversity
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 as huge amounts of natural
resorts
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resources
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 are being eliminated.
Secondly
, I think that people started to care about other
species
 not that long ago. For many decades the majority of the population did not think
how
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about how
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 important
the
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apply
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bio-diversity is, and how its shortage might affect
human’s
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human
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 life in different ways. What is more, I believe there is still some ignorance among many people about the importance of keeping alive as many kinds of animals, insects and plants as possible. There are some solutions to
this
 problem that can help to change it.
For instance
, more attention should be paid to education on
planet’s
Correct article usage
the planet’s
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 ecosystem in all types of institutions.
Moreover
, there should be more natural resorts where different kinds of
species
 can be held and reproduced.
To conclude
, in my personal opinion, there is some historic influence
in
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on
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 bio-diversity loss,
as well as
modern
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a modern
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 lack of knowledge. To prevent even worse consequences of
extinction
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the extinction
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 of some
species
 different kinds of actions should be taken. It includes some educational steps and
construction
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the construction
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 of more natural resorts where different
species
 can thrive.
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task achievement
Work on adding more specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay maintains a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout. Consider using more transition words and phrases to enhance the flow between sections.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and aim for a more diverse vocabulary to keep the reader engaged and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
The essay shows a good understanding of the topic by identifying the primary causes and suggesting solutions.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are generally clear and logically organized, which makes it easy to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your language is appropriate for an academic essay, and you have used some complex sentences effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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