Some people think government should ban dangerous sports; others, however, believe that people should the freedom to do whatever sports they choose. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays,a part of
people
Use synonyms
argue that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should prevent
people
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to do
Change preposition
from doing
show examples
dangerous
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
, another part of them believe
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
is free to do his chosen
sport
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.As for me,
people
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should not be limited to whatever
sports
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they prefer,even the
government
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needs to provide some support to them. On the one hand,some
people
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suggest the
government
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
prohibit dangerous
sports
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main
Replace the word
mainly
show examples
because they
Add a missing verb
are concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
their
Change preposition
about their
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children,friends or themselves getting hurt
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
sports
Use synonyms
.
They
Add a verb
They are
They were
show examples
afraid of the
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
that the dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
may
give
Verb problem
cause
show examples
to them.To be honest,if you are not prepared enough,you may
will
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
be injured in every
Use synonyms
sports
Change to a singular noun
sport
show examples
.The definition of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dangerous
sports
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is very hard to describe.Which
sport
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is
dangerous
Add an article
a dangerous
show examples
sport
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?Is there any
sport
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that is
Linking Words
absolutely safe?That’s why,
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government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should not ban any
sports
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because all of the
sports
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have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
potential danger.What the
government
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should do is to teach residents how to prevent the
dangerous
Replace the word
dangers
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,others emphasize the freedom of
people
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,we have the right to do whatever we choose.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
must not ban any
sports
Use synonyms
.The reasons are as follows.First,
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
has his own personal interest,various
people
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prefer to do different kinds of
sports
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.
And
Correct word choice
People
show examples
people
Use synonyms
have talent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
different
sports
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,
for example
Linking Words
,Yao Ming can play basketball well
main
Replace the word
mainly
show examples
due to
Linking Words
his height,and Su Bingtian can run fast
main
Replace the word
mainly
show examples
due to
Linking Words
his strong leg.
Moreover
Linking Words
,every
Use synonyms
sports
Change to a singular noun
sport
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
exclusive
Correct word choice
own exclusive
show examples
enjoyment.The various
sports
Use synonyms
can
built
Verb problem
make
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our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
more
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
and meaningful.
Last
Linking Words
but not least,more kinds of
sports
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will create more opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
People
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can find jobs
relate
Change the form of the verb
related
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
a few can discover their life purpose. In conclusion,the danger of
sports
Use synonyms
is relative,every
Use synonyms
sports
Change to a singular noun
sport
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
feasible and useful.
People
Use synonyms
should try their best to protect themselves,and have the freedom to do whatever
sports
Use synonyms
they choose.
Submitted by zhaoruolin220 on

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cohesion
Add more transitional phrases to enhance the flow and connection between paragraphs.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and well-stated, which provides a good framework for the essay.
content
The essay covers both viewpoints, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
argumentation
Some good reasons and justifications are presented to support your opinions.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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