IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #changes #place #queen #mary #construction #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given map illustrates the transformation of Queen Mary Hospital and its expansion between 1960 and 2000.
Overall
, it is clear
seen
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that the building had
noticeably
Change the word
noticeable
show examples
 construction every 20 years from 1960 to 2000.
In addition
, the Hospital has changed considerably, expanding its territory from one building to the acquisition of an entire complex. Now it has parts
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 Pharmacy, Cancer Center and Nursing
School
. In 1960, there were the Hospital and Parking on the right side and businesses from different fields as Farmland and Shopping
Centre
 on the left side.
However
, in the next 20
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 the complex witnessed dramatic changes,
Shopping
Correct article usage
The Shopping
show examples
Centre
 next to the Hospital
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 demolished and
Cancer
Correct article usage
the Cancer
show examples
Centre
 and Pharmacy
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 built in that place.
Further
, there was a replacement of a whole Farmland
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
Nursing
Correct article usage
a Nursing
show examples
School
. At the beginning of
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
century
Add a comma
century,
show examples
 there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a significant development in the structure of
Cancer
Correct article usage
the Cancer
show examples
Centre
, it expanded its area to the south and took
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of a Nursing
School
.
Although
, the half part of
Car
Correct article usage
the Car
show examples
 Parking
constructed
Add a missing verb
was constructed
show examples
 into
Nursing
Correct article usage
a Nursing
show examples
School
 and
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 part remained as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Car Parking. The Pharmacy did not see any changes between 1980 and 2000. Despite all these modernizations over the period 1960 and 2000, the Hospital remains the same.
Submitted by daulet93mail.ru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words school, centre with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • initial facilities
  • replacement
  • significant extension
  • absorbed
  • developments
  • introduction
  • adjacent
  • evolution
  • enhancing healthcare services
  • commercial spaces
  • medical facilities
  • expansion
  • modern healthcare needs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: