the digram shows the floor plane of public library 20 yeares ago and how it look now

The
digram
Correct your spelling
diagram
show examples
provides information about the public library
befor
Correct your spelling
before
for
20
yeares
Correct your spelling
years
show examples
and how it looks
today
.
Overall
, some space in the
roomes
Correct your spelling
rooms
show examples
becaume
Correct your spelling
becomes
bigger than
befor
Correct your spelling
before
.
Also
,
changed
Replace the word
changes
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
chapes
Correct your spelling
shapes
and design of the rooms.
Frist
Correct your spelling
First
show examples
of all,
central
Correct article usage
the central
show examples
library 20 years ago
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had tables and chairs in the middle. The enquiry desk now became the cafe.Now
today
the library
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a adult
Correct the article-noun agreement
an adult fiction book
adult fiction books
show examples
fiction
books
in addition
,
self-service
Change preposition
to self-service
show examples
machines.In the
behiend
Correct your spelling
behind
the adult
fiction
books
, there are lecture
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
.
However
, replace it
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
Cds
Correct your spelling
CDs
show examples
,videos and
coputer
Correct your spelling
computer
games
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the chidren's
show examples
chidren's
Correct your spelling
children's
fiction
books
room
.
In addition
,
chidren's
Correct your spelling
children's
books
today
look
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
bigger and add
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
storytelling
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
and
children'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
fiction
books
. All
Correct article usage
the refrence
show examples
refrence
Correct your spelling
reference
books
, now you can find
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
between the
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
fiction
books
and
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
room
. The
digram
Correct your spelling
diagram
show examples
shows, the
diffrent
Correct your spelling
difference
between the computer
room
have include
Wrong verb form
includes
show examples
CDs,
videos
Correct word choice
and videos
show examples
befor
Correct your spelling
before
20
yeares
Correct your spelling
years
show examples
ago,
However
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
computer
room
and has
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
function to
used
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
.
Submitted by modhialarjani1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay needs a clearer structure and logical flow. Consider using paragraphs effectively to separate different parts of the comparison.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. This helps in providing a sense of completeness.
task achievement
Focus on supporting your main points with specific details and examples from the diagrams. This will strengthen your arguments and make your ideas more comprehensive.
task achievement
Try to use varied and accurate vocabulary to describe the differences and changes. This will help in making your writing more engaging and clear.
task achievement
Address all aspects of the task. Ensure you cover all significant changes or details in the diagrams to meet the task requirements fully.
task achievement
You made a good attempt at describing the changes in the public library over a span of 20 years. This demonstrates your ability to analyze visual data.
task achievement
Your essay has a decent amount of detail, reflecting an effort to provide a comprehensive description of the floor plan changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: