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Band 2

the digram shows the floor plane of public library 20 yeares ago and how it look now

#digram #floor #plane #library #yeares
The
digram
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diagram
show examples
 provides information about the public library
befor
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before
for
 20
yeares
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years
show examples
 and how it looks
today
.
Overall
, some space in the
roomes
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rooms
show examples
becaume
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becomes
 bigger than
befor
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before
.
Also
,
changed
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changes
show examples
for
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apply
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the
chapes
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shapes
 and design of the rooms.
Frist
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First
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 of all,
central
Correct article usage
the central
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 library 20 years ago
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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had tables and chairs in the middle. The enquiry desk now became the cafe.Now
today
 the library
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a adult
Correct the article-noun agreement
an adult fiction book
adult fiction books
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fiction
books
in addition
,
self-service
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to self-service
show examples
 machines.In the
behiend
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behind
 the adult
fiction
books
, there are lecture
room
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rooms
show examples
.
However
, replace it
from
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with
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Cds
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CDs
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,videos and
coputer
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computer
 games
to
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in
show examples
Correct article usage
the chidren's
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chidren's
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children's
fiction
books
room
 .
In addition
,
chidren's
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children's
books
today
 look
more
Change the word
apply
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bigger and add
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 storytelling
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
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 and
children'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
fiction
books
. All
Correct article usage
the refrence
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refrence
Correct your spelling
reference
books
, now you can find
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 between the
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
fiction
books
 and
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
room
. The
digram
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diagram
show examples
 shows, the
diffrent
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difference
 between the computer
room
have include
Wrong verb form
includes
show examples
 CDs,
videos
Correct word choice
and videos
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befor
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before
 20
yeares
Correct your spelling
years
show examples
 ago,
However
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 computer
room
 and has
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
 function to
used
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
.
Submitted by modhialarjani1999 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay needs a clearer structure and logical flow. Consider using paragraphs effectively to separate different parts of the comparison.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. This helps in providing a sense of completeness.
task achievement
Focus on supporting your main points with specific details and examples from the diagrams. This will strengthen your arguments and make your ideas more comprehensive.
task achievement
Try to use varied and accurate vocabulary to describe the differences and changes. This will help in making your writing more engaging and clear.
task achievement
Address all aspects of the task. Ensure you cover all significant changes or details in the diagrams to meet the task requirements fully.
task achievement
You made a good attempt at describing the changes in the public library over a span of 20 years. This demonstrates your ability to analyze visual data.
task achievement
Your essay has a decent amount of detail, reflecting an effort to provide a comprehensive description of the floor plan changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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