IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You recently received a letter from friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter. • say why he/she would not enjoy going to college • explain why getting a job is good idea for him/ her • suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

#friend #advice #college #job #idea
Dear sir or madam
Iʼm
Correct your spelling
I am
 writing recently received a letter from a friend who asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
 a
job
. I think you should get a
job
. Because you would not enjoy going to college. You are not interested in college manuals and you are only interested in
earn
Change the verb form
earning
show examples
 money. I think you don't need
study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
. You must be getting a
job
 and I will help you. You are very interested in
earn
Change the verb form
earning
show examples
 a lot of money and
also
 your family
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 poor. You have to help your family. You need to find a very good
job
 because nowadays there are many dangerous jobs that are dangerous for girls. You should only work in a restaurant or cafe. I believe
that is
 a profession that does not pose any danger
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 girls. I will try to find a good and wonderful restaurant or cafe for you, you know, because
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am very busy these days. Jasmina
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 faithfully
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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greeting and closing
Make sure to start your letter with a proper greeting that is appropriate for a letter to a friend, such as 'Dear [Friend's Name]', rather than 'Dear sir or madam'.
single idea per paragraph
Ensure that each paragraph introduces a single, clear idea and develops it fully. This makes the letter easier to follow and more organized.
complete response
Your letter should comprehensively address all points in the prompt. You mentioned the friend's interest in earning money and helping the family, but didn’t explain in detail why college might not suit them or suggest specific job types beyond restaurants or cafes.
suitable writing tone
Your tone is generally suitable for writing to a friend, which makes the letter feel personal and engaging.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Real-world experience
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • On-the-job training
  • Student loan debt
  • Personal growth
  • Professional networking
  • Career development
  • Skilled workers
  • Job market
  • Career goals
  • Immediate income
  • Professional relationships
  • Market demand
  • Defining interests
  • Educational investments
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