You are going to visit New Zealand for an “English and Homestay” program. You have just received details of yours homestay host family. Write your first letter to the family. In your letter • Introduce yourself • Ask the family to get information that is important to you • Tell the family about your arrival date and time

#visit #zealand #“english #homestay” #program #homestay #host #first #information #date #time

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to request information about visiting New Zealand and experiencing the local traditions in your

country

. My name is Ozod and I am

scientist

Correct article usage

a scientist

show examples

therefore

I have chosen your state.

Until

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

day I

learn

Wrong verb form

have learned

show examples

plenty of

country’s

Fix the agreement mistake

countries’

show examples

homestay

Fix the agreement mistake

homestays

show examples

For

instance

Add the comma(s)

instance,

show examples

Canada, Russia,

Turkish

Correct word choice

and Turkish

show examples

abbreviation. The main reason is why I am choosing these nations because I adore the nature of

these

Change the determiner

this country

these countries

show examples

country

and there are plenty of sightseeing places.

Furthermore

, I desire to ask

some

Change preposition

for some

show examples

information about your family and their environment because I need some kind of equipment in order to my experience.

For instance

, I need

teacher

Correct article usage

a teacher

show examples

duo to learn

your

Change preposition

about your

show examples

life it does not matter how much because I have a lot of money. Exactly I will fly to your

country

Change preposition

show examples

the morning. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

I will

arrival

Replace the word

arrive

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

your state for seven hours by plane

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because my

country

is very far from yours. I

desire

Verb problem

hope

show examples

to you should prepare

bedroom

Correct article usage

a bedroom

show examples

duo

Change preposition

for

show examples

me, since I will,

exhausted

Add a missing verb

be exhausted

show examples

way

Add an article

the way

a way

show examples

. I look forward to receiving a prompt reply. Yours faithfully, Ozod Umarqulov

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Thu Aug 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a single clear idea. Combine or split paragraphs to achieve this.

task achievement

Revise sentences for grammar and syntax to improve clarity. For example, you can rephrase 'I need teacher duo to learn your life' to 'I would like a teacher to help me learn about your way of life.'

task achievement

The letter includes a clear introduction, request for information, and mention of arrival date and time, which are essential parts of the task.

coherence cohesion

The closing of your letter ('I look forward to receiving a prompt reply.') is polite and formal, fitting for the context.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

185 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people believe that manufacture and supermarkets have the responsible to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customer should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both view and give your opinion.