IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think public library is necessary, however, others believe that the public library is useless. What is your opinion and provide with some relevant examples.

#people #library
There
no
Add a missing verb
is no
show examples
 denying the
facts
Fix the agreement mistake
fact
show examples
 that
people
 are not on the same mind when it comes to
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
.
while
 it is commonly held belief that local
library
 is must there is
also
 an argument that local
libabry
Correct your spelling
library
 is not significant. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will analyse
this
 topic from both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of view and express my opinion . On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 local
library
 is
importnatn
Correct your spelling
important
 for reading
in other words
 reading helps
expanding
Wrong verb form
expand
show examples
 knowledge and ideas it helps
people
 create better and plan better
in Addition
 to
this
 reading or having local
library
 help
people
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 things to do in their free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 with researching it can rise the average knowledge
for instance
 if you are free and you got nothing to do the first thing comes to your mind is to play videos games but if you have a near local
library
 you may go there if course having a
library
 will
impove
Correct your spelling
improve
 the academic growth .
In
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 others think that having a local
library
 is a waste of time
there
Correct word choice
and there
show examples
 are no real benefits from the
library
 it is
also
 possible to say that local libraries cost a lot
however
 it may be a problem for the government
moreover
 no one goes to the
library
 these because everyone has a device and it is easier to look for any information and more convenient and you will save time and effort by doing that . In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 despite
people
 having different views I believe that libraries are very critical for any society to grow and for
academics
Change the noun form
academic
show examples
 growth.
Submitted by amjadalsamman on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the structure and clarity of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and support it with relevant details.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and complex.
task achievement
Address the grammatical errors and proofreading more carefully. This will improve the overall readability and effectiveness of your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to strengthen your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which provides a clear structure.
complete response
The writer addresses both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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