IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effectiv

In the contemporary world, it is an irrefutable fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there is an exponential surge in traffic and
environment
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environmental
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 contamination. Some people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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 that
this
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 problem can be resolved by
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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 the oil prices.
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However
Add a comma
However,
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 I
am not agree
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do not agree
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 with the above statement.In my opinion, there are some other measures which can be utilized like strict policies and awareness.
This
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 essay will analyze points
along with
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 examples in the upcoming for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 better demonstration of arguments. To commence with, the main issue behind why the increase in the oil cost
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 not effective is because it can be the reason
of
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for
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 the high unemployment rates in the developing nations.
In other words
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, numerous people
are depending
Wrong verb form
depend
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 on the transportation
sectors
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sector
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 for their survival but the
surden
Correct your spelling
sudden
 change in prices can directly
impacts
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impact
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 their basic income.
For example
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, as per research of the
Indians
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Indian
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 Times around 38% workforce of India
working
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works
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 in transportation
corporation
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corporations
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, so shut
down
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shutdown
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 of any company
due to
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 their high expenses of petrol or diesel can be the reason
of
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for
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 many job
loses
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losses
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.
However
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, there are manifold
option
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options
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 which can
be consider
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be considered
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 for better
result
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results
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 like government policies. To explain,
instead
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 of price changes to mitigate the concern of traffic cognition and
adultration
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adulteration
, high authorities can make better policies which
limits
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limit
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 the use of personal
vehicle
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vehicles
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 and automobiles per family.
For instance
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, the Delhi official made one rule in 2021,
according to
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 which they
assign
Wrong verb form
assigned
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 2
vehicular
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vehicles
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 to one family, and
as a result
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, there was
8
Correct article usage
an 8
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% decline of personal transports on the road, which automatically
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
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 accidents and pollutant factors.
To conclude
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,
although
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main
Correct article usage
the main
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causes
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cause
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behind
Change preposition
of
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 traffic and
nature
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natural
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pollutant
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pollutants
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 is the
usage
Replace the word
use
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 of more petrol
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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but
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apply
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in my point of view,
this
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 affair cannot be resolved through price change,
implementation
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the implementation
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 of
proposed
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the proposed
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 solution like strong
regulation
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regulations
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 can be more useful to alleviate
above
Correct article usage
the above
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 complication.

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grammar
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct to make your ideas clearer and easier to understand. For example, avoid grammatical errors like "there is" instead of "there are" when referring to plural nouns.
thesis statement
Provide a clearer thesis statement and make sure each paragraph directly supports this main argument.
supporting points
Elaborate more on each supporting point to develop a cohesive argument. Provide additional examples and detailed explanations to fully clarify your ideas.
task response
You addressed the question and gave your opinion clearly, which is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your key points, which helps to reinforce your arguments.
task response
The use of relevant examples, such as the Delhi example, helps to illustrate your points more clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • petrol prices
  • public transportation
  • alternative energy vehicles
  • disproportionately affect
  • inequality
  • emissions standards
  • cycling and walking
  • safe bike lanes
  • pedestrian zones
  • smart city technologies
  • traffic flow management
What to do next:
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