IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effectiv

#price #petrol #traffic #pollution #measures #effectiv
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary world, it is an irrefutable fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there is an exponential surge in traffic and
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 contamination. Some people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that
this
 problem can be resolved by
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
 the oil prices.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 I
am not agree
Change the verb form
do not agree
show examples
 with the above statement.In my opinion, there are some other measures which can be utilized like strict policies and awareness.
This
 essay will analyze points
along with
 examples in the upcoming for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better demonstration of arguments. To commence with, the main issue behind why the increase in the oil cost
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 not effective is because it can be the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the high unemployment rates in the developing nations.
In other words
, numerous people
are depending
Wrong verb form
depend
show examples
 on the transportation
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
 for their survival but the
surden
Correct your spelling
sudden
 change in prices can directly
impacts
Change the verb form
impact
show examples
 their basic income.
For example
, as per research of the
Indians
Fix the agreement mistake
Indian
show examples
 Times around 38% workforce of India
working
Wrong verb form
works
show examples
 in transportation
corporation
Fix the agreement mistake
corporations
show examples
, so shut
down
Correct your spelling
shutdown
show examples
 of any company
due to
 their high expenses of petrol or diesel can be the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many job
loses
Replace the word
losses
show examples
.
However
, there are manifold
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 which can
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
 for better
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 like government policies. To explain,
instead
 of price changes to mitigate the concern of traffic cognition and
adultration
Correct your spelling
adulteration
, high authorities can make better policies which
limits
Change the verb form
limit
show examples
 the use of personal
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 and automobiles per family.
For instance
, the Delhi official made one rule in 2021,
according to
 which they
assign
Wrong verb form
assigned
show examples
 2
vehicular
Correct your spelling
vehicles
show examples
 to one family, and
as a result
, there was
8
Correct article usage
an 8
show examples
% decline of personal transports on the road, which automatically
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 accidents and pollutant factors.
To conclude
,
although
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
behind
Change preposition
of
show examples
 traffic and
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
pollutant
Fix the agreement mistake
pollutants
show examples
 is the
usage
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of more petrol
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
in my point of view,
this
 affair cannot be resolved through price change,
implementation
Correct article usage
the implementation
show examples
 of
proposed
Correct article usage
the proposed
show examples
 solution like strong
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 can be more useful to alleviate
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 complication.
Submitted by arshkaurbrar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct to make your ideas clearer and easier to understand. For example, avoid grammatical errors like "there is" instead of "there are" when referring to plural nouns.
thesis statement
Provide a clearer thesis statement and make sure each paragraph directly supports this main argument.
supporting points
Elaborate more on each supporting point to develop a cohesive argument. Provide additional examples and detailed explanations to fully clarify your ideas.
task response
You addressed the question and gave your opinion clearly, which is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your key points, which helps to reinforce your arguments.
task response
The use of relevant examples, such as the Delhi example, helps to illustrate your points more clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • petrol prices
  • public transportation
  • alternative energy vehicles
  • disproportionately affect
  • inequality
  • emissions standards
  • cycling and walking
  • safe bike lanes
  • pedestrian zones
  • smart city technologies
  • traffic flow management
What to do next:
Look at other essays: