You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems.You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: •introduce yourself •explain the situation •say what action you would like the company to take
Dear Sir or Madam
I am writing to
complaint
about Replace the word
complain
camera
to the Add an article
the camera
company
. I have recently bought new
Correct article usage
a new
the
Correct article usage
apply
camera
.When,
I brought it home, the Remove the comma
apply
camera
wasn't
working.I found it had some problems.Also
,I am applied
to the Wrong verb form
applying
company
.
Firstly
, My name is Komosh. I am sixteen years old. I am student
.I am interested in photography.Add an article
a student
Finally
,I bought a camera
, however
, the camera
didn't
work, I was so surprised.I can't
take pictures and it turns off automatically.Next
day, I visited your Correct article usage
The next
company
, I returned it.
Secondly
,I went to the company
and gave my complaint. I talked to worker
, one of your representatives, who assured me that the Add an article
the worker
a worker
camera
would be replaced within 48 But,I haven't
heard from you for three days.When,
I called her again, but, she told me Remove the comma
apply
wait
a few more days.
I want to change the Add the particle
to wait
camera
.I still believe in your company
. Everyone can be wrong.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully.
KomoshSubmitted by omondavlat91 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to use appropriate linking words and avoid abrupt transitions. For example, 'Therefore' instead of 'Firstly' in some cases, and ensuring each paragraph flows logically into the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a single idea. For example, the introduction of yourself and your interest in photography could be placed in the same paragraph.
task achievement
The letter generally addresses all parts of the prompt but could be clearer in some areas. For example, specify the model of the camera and the exact nature of the defect.
task achievement
Maintain a formal tone throughout the letter. Avoid contractions like 'I can't'. Instead, use 'I cannot'.
greeting and closing
Your greeting and closing are appropriately formal and polite.
task achievement
You have made a clear attempt to explain the situation and provide a detailed account of your actions, which is good for task achievement.