Some people say free time activities for children should be organized. Others say that children should be free time to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #time #activities #children

Many people think that leisure

time

exercises for every

child

should be implemented. Others say that

kids

should choose by

theirselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

their selves

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

what they do in their extra

time

. I will discuss both ideas that tasks should be organised

as well as

they should select exercises by

theirselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

. For most and foremost

extra

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

curriculars

Correct your spelling

extracurriculars

should be organised for every single

child

Therefore

kids

are immature and choosing

activities

is difficult for them.

For example

, in the

Correct your spelling

kindergarten

kindergarden

Add a comma

kindergarden,

show examples

there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

various types of

activities

such

as swimming, making tools, doing some sports and so on. That kind of free

time

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity was

show examples

organised by specialists When adults asked to

kids

to choose some extra

activities

children did not

had

Change the verb form

have

show examples

any idea what to do in their leisure

time

. So organizations like

kindergarden

Correct your spelling

kindergartens

or elementary schools

are provided

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

extra

Correct word choice

extracurricular

show examples

curricular for children.

On the other hand

, it is important for children to select extra

activities

theirselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

. If they choose any kind of activity

according to

their decision they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be independent in their future life.

For instance

, when

kids

attended

Wrong verb form

attend

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

extra

activities

depending on their talent later they succeed throughout their lives. So doing

activities

according to

child's

Correct article usage

the child's

show examples

opinion may bring success in the future.

To conclude

, extra excises should be implemented by government for every

child

As well as

kids

should attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

extra courses by choosing

theirselves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Fri Aug 09 2024

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task achievement

Provide more thorough examples and explanations for each point. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to use clear and varied sentence structures to improve readability. This will help to express your ideas more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Work on your introduction to provide a clearer overview of the essay. Ensure it includes the main points you intend to discuss.

task achievement

The essay addresses both views, providing a balanced discussion which is well-developed.

coherence cohesion

There is evidence of logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

The ideas are relevant to the topic and address the prompt effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say free time activities for children should be organized. Others say that children should be free time to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Word Count

Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

In the past, people lived in one place for a long time , but now they can live in many different places what are the reasons ? Is this positive or negative development ?

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvatages?