Some people believe that school children should do their class work individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Several
people
think that the student must do class
Add an article
the class
task
individually. The rest of Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
people
believe that small Correct article usage
the people
group
is a good choice to do
Verb problem
for
class work
. In Correct your spelling
classwork
this
essay, I will discuss both side
and give my own opinion.
On one hand, there are many benefits of individual work Change to a plural noun
sides
such
as focus, accountability and self reliance
. The primary Add a hyphen
self-reliance
lead
Replace the word
leads
children
easily to learn since they can concentration
without any Replace the word
concentrate
distraction
from others. Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
Secondly
, it makes children
have
responsible Unnecessary verb
apply
about
their own learning which they can assess individual progress. Change preposition
for
Moreover
, Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
teacher
will know about Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
children
Change noun form
children's
ability
and Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
Add an article
the part
a part
part
that Fix the agreement mistake
parts
difficult
for them. Add a missing verb
are difficult
Thirdly
, children
will be more independent and self-reliant which can be usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
skills
in the future.
On the other hand
, group
work can encourage children
collaboration and communication Change noun form
children's
skills
which are important not only educational but also
professional field. The student will be able to develop a solution by discussion with their friends. Furthermore
, it also
bring
a diverse view Change the verb form
brings
about
the problems. Change preposition
of
For instance
, in a science group
divided into four people
which
is Correct pronoun usage
there
discussion
about conservation. Every student has their own opinion that can Add an article
a discussion
the discussion
be increase
their critical thinking. The Change the verb form
increase
last
is mutual support who
can give motivation Correct pronoun usage
which
for
all of the Change preposition
to
people
in a group
.
In my own perspective, it is better to balance task
for Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
children
both individual and group
. It will be
develop various Unnecessary verb
apply
skills
such
as self-reliant
, collaboration and communication.
In conclusion, Individual Replace the word
self-reliance
task
lead Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
several
advantages for Change preposition
to several
children
such
as focus to solve
Change preposition
on solving
the
Correct article usage
apply
problem
, accountability and Fix the agreement mistake
problems
self reliance
. Add a hyphen
self-reliance
However
, the others
Fix the agreement mistake
other tasks
task
also
lead benefits
Change preposition
to benefits
such
as motivated
, diverse knowledge and collaboration Replace the word
motivation
skills
.Submitted by firmansyahafandy99 on
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task achievement
Your essay covers both perspectives and provides a balanced view, which is key for task achievement. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that sometimes make your points less clear. Try to check your work for verb agreement, prepositions, and sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Still, the introduction could be slightly more engaging and concise. Additionally, make sure each paragraph clearly supports your central argument by ensuring better transition between points within each paragraph.
task achievement
Your points are relevant and you have included specific examples, such as the science group discussion, which is great. To improve, try to elaborate a bit more on how exactly these points and examples support your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow within paragraphs. For instance, ensuring that each sentence naturally follows from the previous one will make your essay easier to read. Consider using more linking words and phrases to illustrate the connections between ideas clearly.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed both viewpoints and provided a balanced opinion, which is essential for a high-scoring essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and fulfill their roles well, summarizing the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Using a specific example such as the science group discussion strengthens your argument and illustrates your points well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.