IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information about children under 18 learning musical instruments in one region of the UK in 1996 and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant .

The charts below give information about children under 18 learning musical instruments in one region of the UK in 1996 and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant .
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 report derives from the charts which enumerate the proportions of
the
Correct article usage
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children under 18 learning musical instruments in one area of the UK in 1996 and 2016 and delineate the transitions in
a
Correct article usage
the

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 choice of
the
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instrument in 1996 and 2016. A glance at the pie charts clearly reveals that the
overall
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 trends encountered a tremendous increase in the section of "learning a musical instrument", comprising a solid 44% in 1996 followed by a firm 76% in 2016.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the bar graph elucidates that the entire predilections faced
the
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fluctuations in the selection of the musical equipment that teenagers used to practice. The worth figures of the keyboard experienced a remarkable augmentation which recorded the zenith figure of the bar graph in 2016, possessing a strong 30%, which was almost 20% in 1996. Considering that piano was the most popular musical device in 1996, it became the second
famous
Correct quantifier usage
most famous

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 device in 2016. In stark contrast to the keyboard value, the acoustic guitar value demonstrated a noticeable decline in its proportion. The electric guitar,
on the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, revealed a slight increase during the observation.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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