IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Cars have become convenient and economical form of transport and as a result, the use of cars has increased dramatically during the last century. Discuss the problems this increase has created and offer some practical solutions.

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Cars
Use synonyms
viewed
Add a missing verb
are viewed
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 as a comfortable transportation and
also
Linking Words
 beneficial economically by individuals,
consequently
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, the number of
Use synonyms
cars owner
Fix the agreement mistake
car owners
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 has significantly risen over the
last
Linking Words
 century.
However
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, the increase
of
Change preposition
in
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cars
Use synonyms
 will eventually lead to some problems
such
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 as
traffic
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 congestion and
air
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 pollution. Governments should take any measures to combat these issues.
Environmentally-wise
Correct your spelling
Environmentally wise
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,
cars
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 are not
an
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental
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environmentally
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 friendly
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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. It is insufficient for a vast number of passengers,
uneffectively
Correct your spelling
ineffectively
, sometimes one car
only
Add a missing verb
is only
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 driven
for
Change preposition
by
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 one person as its passenger.
In addition
Linking Words
, the road
did
Verb problem
has
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 not expanded largely in size and at some point will
inadequate
Add a missing verb
be inadequate
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 to balance the mass number of vehicles that pass through it.
Thus
Linking Words
, the risen amount of car owners will
consequently
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 create
a
Remove the article
apply
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traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion.
Furthermore
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,
traffic
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congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
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 will escalate the
air
Use synonyms
 pollution index that
accordingly
Linking Words
, will endanger the residents’ health. The governments should create some solutions to tackle these problems. Public
transportations’
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transportation’s
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 quality and quantity must be improved to attract the residents to take buses,
train
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trains
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, and trams for daily travel. The large size of public vehicles
make
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makes
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them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 possible to bring a
lot
Correct your spelling
large
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 amount of passengers,
subsequently
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, the
traffic
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congestion’s
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congestion
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 rate will lessen and lower the levels of
air
Use synonyms
 pollution.
Additionally
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, laws that
regulated
Wrong verb form
regulate
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 the quality of gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 by private vehicles
such
Linking Words
 as
cars
Use synonyms
 should
be tighten
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be tightened
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. Authorities must
inquire
Verb problem
ask
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 the car owners to periodically check up on their
cars
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’ gas emission quality and perform strict punishments to discipline owners who are not obedient. In conclusion, the expansion of
cars
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 will eventually create
a poor congestion circumstances
Correct the article-noun agreement
poor congestion circumstances
a poor congestion circumstance
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 and lead to polluted
air
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 conditions. To combat those, authorities must refine their public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 and make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
tight regulations about gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
.

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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the essay prompt are addressed thoroughly and with clarity. While the essay identifies the main problems and offers solutions, the ideas could be expanded and elaborated upon further with more specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically to enhance the logical flow of the essay. Using linking words and phrases will help improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure smooth transitions between your ideas.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the prompt by discussing the problems and offering practical solutions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and provide a good frame for the essay. They help to encapsulate the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, although further elaboration and specific examples would strengthen the argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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