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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below poverty line in three states in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below poverty line in three states in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table compares age, typical revenue per person, and people under the poverty line in three different states in the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that younger individuals tend to live in
Utah
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 older people prefer to stay in
Florida
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. Meanwhile,
California
Use synonyms
 has the biggest average income per person and residents below the poverty line. It is observed that the proportion of children in
Utah
Use synonyms
 is 28%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the figure for
California
Use synonyms
 and
Florida
Use synonyms
 shows a slight difference, accounting for 17% and 16% respectively. Regarding older people, the highest number is located in
Florida
Use synonyms
 at 23%, higher than the number
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
California
Use synonyms
 and
Utah
Use synonyms
 by 10% and 15% respectively.
Utah
Use synonyms
 has the smallest number in terms of median revenue per person,
while
Linking Words
California
Use synonyms
 and
Florida
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 depict a gentle distinction, illustrating 23,000$ and 22,000$ respectively.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the proportion of individuals under the poverty line in
California
Use synonyms
 is the largest, 16%, and that of
Utah
Use synonyms
 ranks third at 9%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words utah, florida, california with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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